**SOMEONE**
New member
I have two poems and need to compare which one is better because I want to publish it in my school magazine...
(1) Life
Life is a gift from god,
It is like a curve,
That has the ups and downs,
Sweet and sour
It may happen as we wish,
It may be consternation,
It’s like a fire,
That shouldn’t we play,
It is something that has the beginning and the end,
And in the middle of the line,
Everything may just vanished,
It isn’t only a task,
It is something that human appreciate.
(2) Being Alone
Once I saw you,
My heart beats faster than the storm,
My heart filled with joys and happiness,
Accomplished by love,
Talking to you was my aspiration,
Which I achieved eventually,
But something hideous occurred,
That segregated me from you,
Now left is just memory,
Of anything you said,
I admired you most,
Was your smile to me,
Can’t I hope more,
For it’s going to be dust,
And now I’m all alone,
Crying at the edge of my room,
Darkness and soreness covered my heart,
And it never beats till now.
I would appreciate any critics from you guys...
Rate it and pick which on better
Comment and critics are welcomed
(1) Life
Life is a gift from god,
It is like a curve,
That has the ups and downs,
Sweet and sour
It may happen as we wish,
It may be consternation,
It’s like a fire,
That shouldn’t we play,
It is something that has the beginning and the end,
And in the middle of the line,
Everything may just vanished,
It isn’t only a task,
It is something that human appreciate.
(2) Being Alone
Once I saw you,
My heart beats faster than the storm,
My heart filled with joys and happiness,
Accomplished by love,
Talking to you was my aspiration,
Which I achieved eventually,
But something hideous occurred,
That segregated me from you,
Now left is just memory,
Of anything you said,
I admired you most,
Was your smile to me,
Can’t I hope more,
For it’s going to be dust,
And now I’m all alone,
Crying at the edge of my room,
Darkness and soreness covered my heart,
And it never beats till now.
I would appreciate any critics from you guys...
Rate it and pick which on better
Comment and critics are welcomed