PLEASE BRUTALLY CRITIQUE!! This is a complete short story. Not enough space here

holly

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for full, not yet to moral.? Only beginning= space, Post more?
“Go away!”

Sometimes having Sara for a twin was like a curse.

It was early summer, and as much as both Tom and Sara hated going to school, Sara got bored without it. She had a stupid amount of energy and whenever she was left without anything to do she always got in trouble, after convincing Tom to join her, of course, because Sara never wanted to do anything alone. Tom always got blamed for it, too, which wasn’t fair.

And, yeah, usually Tom would shrug and come along, but right now he had a new game and he wanted to play it.

“Please, Tommy?” Sara begged, batting eyelashes covered in black junk, because Sara was strange. Strange in an awesome way, of course, but still strange.

“No. Go do something by yourself. You’re always bothering me!” Tom could feel his sister’s green eyes on him, sad and pleading, but he refused to look up. She always won when Tom looked up. It was really just best to ignore her. Sara hated being ignored.

His twin lasted a surprising amount of time, watching Tom annihilate aliens, before she finally huffed and stomped off. Tom nodded to himself as he ran his fingers over the smooth buttons.

Battle won.

Of course, when you’re sister was Sara ‘winning’ was really a relative thing. Tom was left alone to play his game in peace but he couldn’t get back into the flow of it and after some time of being alone he started to wonder where his twin had gone. Sara rarely gave up so easily, was rarely willing to be alone for any extended period of time, and when she was…

Tom’s fingers faltered as he eyed their empty room suspiciously. “Sara?”

Silence.

Tom sighed.

“Sara?” Tom called, setting his remote down and wandering out into the hallway.

Nothing.

Tom continued to call out for his sister like she was a lost pet, wandering through their empty home. The sound of his footsteps seemed to echo through the rooms and off the walls despite the fact that Tom was only wearing socks.

Sara was nowhere.

Tom shivered.

It took Tom way too long to find his twin; long enough that he might have been freaking out, just a little.

Sara was in the backyard, sitting in the dirt by the garden. The sun was shining down harshly on her scrawny shoulders, probably burning them; there was dirt on her hands, and grass stains on the knees of her jeans. Mom was going to be furious.

“Sara!” Tom snapped, pressing his lips into a stern line and striding towards his twin. “Where have you been?” he growled, hoping he looked stern and intimidating and not nearly as relieved as he felt.

Sara started in surprise, looking up at Tom through purple her bangs, squinting and blinking into the sun.

“Here,” Sara said slowly, looking around their backyard searchingly.

“Yeah, well, you’re not allowed,” Tom snapped, folding his arms over his chest bossily. “You can’t go places without telling me. I’m older and I’m responsible for you.” They’d been having the same argument their whole lives. Sara never listened, though.

“You are not!” Sara said, glaring like she always did when Tom tried to explain this particular fact to her. “We’re the same age. We’re the same.” This was always Sara’s argument. Tom rolled his eyes.

“I’m older. Even Mom says so. I’m the big brother. That means I’m in charge when Mom isn’t home.” Okay, so Mom had never actually used the words ‘in charge’ or anything, but still. “You can’t leave the house without telling me!”

Sara did not seem all that impressed by Tom’s impenetrable logic. She glared in the pouty way she always did, and then turned her gaze from Tom to stare back down at the garden. Tom sighed.

Stupid stubborn little sisters.

“He doesn’t know anything.” Sara muttered conspiringly to the ground. “We’re twins. We’re the same age. We’re the same.”

“Sara-“

“Go away!” Sara pouted, still not looking up from the dirt. “I’m busy, anyway.”

Tom glanced back at the empty house, thought of their empty room. White walls covered in Sara’s stupid posters, her clothing all over the floor and her bed unmade, because Sara could never decide on an outfit in the morning, and she always ended up running for the kitchen only when Tom threatened to eat her breakfast.

Sighing, Tom stepped forward and plopped down next to his twin on the ground in front of the garden.

“What are you doing?” Tom asked curiously. Sara continued to frown and mumbled something, most likely an insult, to the ground. “Are you talking to the dirt?” It was possible. Sara was a weird one.

“No!” Sara cried, looking scandalized. “I’m talking to this plant,” she explained, as if it made perfect sense. It probably did, to Sara.

“Oh,” Tom said slowly, eying his sister, then the garden. It wasn’t much of a garden, honestly. Their mother kept it up as best she could, but she worked a lot, and when she wasn’t working she had a pair of nine-year-olds to keep an eye on. “Is it talking back?”
Again, it was possible with Sara.
 
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