Something reachout said reminded me of a passage I read that's been very helpful for me. I'm paraphrasing here, but the idea is that YOU ARE CHOOSING DISCOMFORT NOW. It is a conscious decision you're making, to feel uncomfortable, to hurt, to be agitated, etc. That's an amazing decision! You are taking back control, you are choosing something other than instant gratification, and THAT is amazing. In an odd way, I have to remind myself to be grateful for this difficult period, to accept that I'm choosing to put myself through this because I'm making the choice to no longer be weak. And that instant gratification part is key, too. We addicts are takers, even if it's just in the sense of the high. Normal everyday people don't feel elation on a daily basis! We have borrowed against that for a long time now! So in a way, we have a debt to repay, which, as we've all experienced, is no fun. But soon enough - maybe a day, a week, a month from now - we'll be even. And then our lives are ours again. Can you imagine? It is so close!
You are in my thoughts today, big time! Let's kick the crap out of this thing.
Holly