Permettez-moi d'embrasser vos pieds

wasting a line with bullshit foreign languages?

it's just in a different language you have no idea of the intention behind it so stop trying to use that to inform your judgement
 
i have to ask someone because i don't speak french, obviously

because the line being in french obviously relates to something, dolt

yeah you are being spatula. instead of saying 'i didn't like this poem because such and such' you ridiculed me, both here and in the review site thread. that's pretty much the definition of arsehole, smug prick, or whatever have you

oh okay i didn't know rabroad music was the authority on poetry

if you used to write like this then it makes you look like an idiot to criticise me so harshly. and as i mentioned before, there is a significance to why i used a foreign language, and me not knowing how to speak that particular language has nothing to do with it. stop trying to bullshit your way through a criticism.
 
anyway, i'm completely fine with you not liking this. parts of it i don't like all that much myself, and i have already accepted that certain lines are overly melodramatic and possibly far over the border of lame. i think the deeper meaning behind it is needed to actually appreciate what the poem is saying, but i'm sure that won't interest you.

it's not the best thing i've written, and i can assure you that not all my poetry is like this. maybe next time try to be a little nice before you go plunging into something with some preconceived notions of superiority.
 
awesome criticism dude


thats because your opinion has always been one of the furthest things from existence ever


again, no, you exaggerate everything to sound cool because you're a pompous ***


you arent a smug prick?


you dont like a poem for personal reasons? cry moar fag


OH EM GEE


been here for a while too, no you dont, shut up, go make out with burt you queer


no, you just dont like the kid, its really obvious


and you say a bunch of petty **** that doesn't make sense in an attempt to seem better than people


great reasoning there dude, it almost made sense

i think the part where you were like I DID IT BEFORE YOU AND I DONT LIKE THAT STUFF ANYMORE really gave your criticism validity
 
The poem relates to Turkish history and those are actual places. Would you rather I use their Turkish names of Selanik and Izmir, or the anglicized Salonica, so they aren't as strange?
 
yeah i realise the smyrna burns line is pretty cliche, but it's directly referring to a great fire, what else was i meant to do.
pretty much every line in this refers to some historical event, place or person (except father orange's dialogue). i just dont take well to idiocy from smug pricks like dillon.

kitsch, if you read this, i'd like your opinion
 
i'm not being a smug prick. this doesn't work. the vocabulary choices make it hard to stomach and the pointless nature of the writing is the worst. you're not the first one to summarize a historical event in prose and the fact that you're willing to defend something so stupid is hilarious. especially when you have lines like "Smyrna burns." and don't expect those to come of as funny, stupid, childish and all around bad.
 
yes you are being a smug prick. instead of giving me some friendly criticism you just act like a dickhead. i'm not claiming this to be an amazing piece of writing, which is why i posted it here, but i will defend myself when i'm ridiculed. this was more of an attempt to convey personal history, and it was my very first attempt, so naturally it may not all together 'work' as a poem. if you're just going to be a cunt i'd rather you just **** off.
 
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