people who are involved with adoption why do so many people complain about adoption?

A

Alex

New member
ok whats so wrong about adoption?
here's some facts

adoptee's: you get to be apart of a stable, loving family I mean face it
adoption problem saved you from a terrible unhealthy life.

also why are some of you so mad at your b-moms is it because she
loved you enough to not abort you and not wanting you to have an
unhealthy life.

and b-moms
ok i know why b-moms can be sad but seriously adoption was
probably the best thing for you to I mean you get your freedom
to finish high-school, you don't have to deal with a crying baby
in the middle of the night or any other responsibilities of raising
a baby your not ready for.

so what i'm asking after all the problems adoption can solve why do
so many people disapprove it
 
Wow, I didn't know people had problems with it. That's ridiculous! Adoption is a good thing, what you said was true, Alex!
 
I've never talked to anybody who disapproved adoption.

I think you are making valid points here which would be hard to disagree with.

If adopted children are angry at their birth mothers, it is probably because they feel like they have no roots, and many people are very proud of and comforted by knowing about their parents and grandparents.
 
Honestly, most of the people I've known who were actually involved in adoption were pretty positive about it. I think it stems from the old system of adoption being too secretive, shamefule, and not always voluntary. Also, curiosity about one's genetic origins is normal, not a betrayal of one's adoptive parents. One woman I knew did this and learned how much being relinquished at birth helped her - her mom was a meth addict and 2 younger biosisters(all 3 have different biodads) were removed at ages 11 and 12 by CPS due to physical abuse and neglect and raised by their grandmother. Another's birthmom was healthy and functional but simply not ready at age 15. Studies show that in general, people who have experience with adoption have more positive views about it than those who do not.
 
In a word -- Ignorance. And also, I guess some people have had bad experiences or heard of bad experiences and generalize this to all of adoption. I seriously had never heard anyone bash adoption until I started looking at the Yahoo Answers boards, and then was 'introduced' to some of the other anti-adoption writings, like the Primal Wound stuff, etc. I have really been confused, hurt and appalled by some of the statements that I've read. As an adoptee as well as a prospective adoptive parent, hearing (reading) that so many people either believe that I should never have been born or even more so that they believe that my future daughter should have been killed for something that adoptees have no control over has been a real slap in the face.

While it is true that not all adoptive homes are the stable, loving places that they should be, abuse and neglect of adopted children, while horrible, is not the norm. Personally, I do have some anger towards my biological mother ... or I guess sadness would be more accurate. This doesn't have anything to do with her giving me up for adoption. I am glad that she did, as it was the best thing for both of us. My negative feelings toward her stem from things that she has said to me directly and things that she has done. The fact that she said during our very first meeting pretty much totally out of the blue, "I don't love you. I've never loved you. And I wish I would have aborted you when I had the chance." pretty much sealed it for me. (She's said this at least twice since.) I know that she has 'issues,' but it doesn't excuse it.
 
In a word -- Ignorance. And also, I guess some people have had bad experiences or heard of bad experiences and generalize this to all of adoption. I seriously had never heard anyone bash adoption until I started looking at the Yahoo Answers boards, and then was 'introduced' to some of the other anti-adoption writings, like the Primal Wound stuff, etc. I have really been confused, hurt and appalled by some of the statements that I've read. As an adoptee as well as a prospective adoptive parent, hearing (reading) that so many people either believe that I should never have been born or even more so that they believe that my future daughter should have been killed for something that adoptees have no control over has been a real slap in the face.

While it is true that not all adoptive homes are the stable, loving places that they should be, abuse and neglect of adopted children, while horrible, is not the norm. Personally, I do have some anger towards my biological mother ... or I guess sadness would be more accurate. This doesn't have anything to do with her giving me up for adoption. I am glad that she did, as it was the best thing for both of us. My negative feelings toward her stem from things that she has said to me directly and things that she has done. The fact that she said during our very first meeting pretty much totally out of the blue, "I don't love you. I've never loved you. And I wish I would have aborted you when I had the chance." pretty much sealed it for me. (She's said this at least twice since.) I know that she has 'issues,' but it doesn't excuse it.
 
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