People = Shit

S

supermom

New member
It's not only a song title, it's how I feel lately.

I've been going out of my way to try and make some new friends, but I like to get to know them first. Of the dozen of so I've tried in the last 6 months, not one of them would I actually be friends with once I got to know a little about them. From serious drug addicts, Bush worshippers, and all around low lifes, the horizon looks grim for new friends.

Now I'm stoked I have the friends I do, but some of them might be moving away, so I'm just keeping my options open. Still, it's fucking hard to find anyone I can stand to be in a room with more than an hour. Funny thing is it's quite the opposite for me, they come at me in droves, but I have to turn them away. I guess my ability to deal with bullshit is dropping.

I know I'm not the only one having trouble making actual friends, but I want to bitch about it. There. I feel better.
 
Don't lower your standards. Better to have a few friends you can really trust than a load of fuckwits who like you for what you are rather than who you are. Unless they're rich.
 
i don't know, i may have the same problem. a lot of poeple are friendly to me, and i'm sure i could pursue friendship, but a lot of people are fucking retarded too :/

i'm plenty happy with my small cluster of friends
 
I forget... what are friends? Really, after I got married, they slowly just vanished. I run into some every now and again so I know they didn't drop off the face of the earth, we exchange numbers and no one ever calls... why is that anyway? I had tons of friends in college dammit. :sad:

Anyway, JLXC, you seem like a pretty "cool" guy, the type everyone wants to befriend because that would make them "cool". Good luck, I can offer no advice here. :happysad:
 
Well upon reading your responses I guess I sound a bit greedy, sorry guys. I do have some great friends, and I value that. It's just over the years they've thinned, and if one or two key ones were to move, it would leave a huge hole in my life.

The main reason I posted was that it seems like so many people I've met of late are just so fucked up inside. I could be acquaintences with them, but real friendship is a bitch to find. I'm sure we all understand that. Seems like a needle in a haystack sometimes... ya know? I really wanted to be friends with one guy, a really nice guy, but then his family life got messed up and he went on a meth and booze binge ending up with him wrecking his truck and destroying his life. I was like WTF?!?!?! He seemed so "with it" but as soon as it got tough, he fucking lost it. I hate that shit, not only for me, but for him!

I do value talking to you guys be there no doubt, I love being able to be totally honest (with no repercussions heh). But as we all know, having someone who lives in your town to drink with, and laugh with, is different than the net. Maybe when tech catches up it wont be! But for now, I'm trolling for another real life friend. Wish me luck!
 
I find I make friends in places that I spend the most free time. In environments where people are enjoying leisure they have the best opportunity to reach out to people they don't know. Work places might be a good source, too. But that depends on whether you work with friendly people or jackasses. Also if you're as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest on the job, you may not have the chance to kick it with people. That's why my primary recommendation is looking at free time hangouts as place to make friends. Choose the places by the type of people you want to get to know.
Honey I'm Home brings up a good point. I've had friends that have gotten married, and as you describe: they drifted out of my social circle. I can relate, from the other side of the fence. Here's a common scenario to illustrate how this happens. Groups of guy friends often share a common hobbies: hooking up with girls, and enjoying entertainment. Often, when a guy gets into a serious relationship with a girlfriend, he spends more time doing 'couples'-type activities with her, which is pretty much mutually exclusive of stuff they would do single guy friends. Also, a lot the entertainment that single guys enjoy while hanging out is at best boring and at worst an affront to girlfriends. (I'm sure the converse applies for girls night out stuff).
When children come into the picture, it becomes difficult juggling career, parenting, and barhopping with the fellas. Typically, the later gives. And becuase married couples have an easier time relating to other married couples, the friends who are still single end up getting replaced by other married people.
To summarize, once a guy achieves a common goal he shares with his friends, it becomes awkward to spend time with those friends. Yeah, that's like a roadmap of social-life after high school and college in a nutshell, or something.

Appendix I: entertainment : It varies from group to group and 'amount of sheltering'. It ranges from video games to porn to total debauchery of various forms.
 
Well, you're right about everything you've said, Wood. The sad thing is that most of these people are married (and most with kids) as well. I think it's where we live. This town is pretty family-oriented (which is good to an extent) but our families keep us so busy, adding friends into the mix is just too much. I miss them though, especially my old best friend from college. She's married and lives in the same city as I do again (which she use to live in Maine - I'm in GA). We've run into each other and enjoy chatting while we're there, swap numbers... no calls. Who knows. I think with her though, I have 3 kids, and she can't have any... Oh well, like I said I 3 kids, I really don't have time to add any more social activities in my life anyway. ;)

JLXC, I didn't think you sounded greedy. It is hard to meet well-grounded people that you can stand longer than an hour these days. More than likely, just like dating, friends will find you. Probably without your even trying.
 
Im open too everyone here is either a hipocrite, Someone who thinks there better than everyone else or people who want to die and bitch and moan about how all life sucks and they want to die....... give me a break i understand where your coming from... most people just dont want new friends and the ones that do are to picky and if they dont think your good ennough then forget them i dont know you man but im sure your a cool dude but other people dont want to see that in you they base most of their opinions on looks or how you act not the real you.
And thats all i have to say about that.
 
Nice way to categorize "everyone"... weren't you just in the other thread screaming about the closed-mindedness of others? :rolleyes:

By the way, I don't think J was asking us to be his friends... he was venting about his RL issues.
 
..... I made a mistake i should have been more clear i meant everyone here at my little town place/School... You guys are cool i wouldnt say that about yall
 
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