Panorama: Kids in Care

The emotional repsonse would be to wnat the foster carers to adopt little Connor, but foster caring is a job and they didn't go into it to adopt a child. They have to think of themselves too - they would have a teenager when they were hoping to retire, and one who would probably need more time, money and attention than their own teenagers.

Also, this is their career - once they adopted Connor they wouldn't be paid anymore so what would they do for their income?
 
I have first-hand experience of adoption. My DH and I were recently going to adopt two girls. We certainly weren't looking for the 'perfect child', however the girls had been with the same foster parents for over three years so when it came to moving in with us they just couldn't cope. They hadn't been counselled for over a year and firmly believed that a 'new mum and dad' meant that they could live with us for part of the year, and move back to their 'real' parents (their foster parents) for the rest of the time. They loved their foster parents too much to leave them, so it was decided by everyone (especially 'our' girls) that they should go back to their foster parents for good. Apparently they're really happy now. It was heartbreaking for us and an awful decision, but it was the best thing for our girls and we had to do what was right for them. Don't be too hard on the adoptive parents of Connor
 
That's why I'd probably make a crap foster carer because I'd find it very hard emotionally to give a child up that I loved and loved me, who had already been thru so much in his short life, who may not end up being adopted successfully, and who you know will end up being emotionally traumatised all over again at leaving you.

Of course I'd love to hear that he was adopted successfully, and there is every chance that he still could be. But as they said, time was running out because of his age.

I can't imagine this family were making a living out of it as the allowances for fostering are pretty small. I would think fostering is like being a social worker/carer/nursing, where you don't go into it to make money.
 
EML that's awful that you're effectively black-listed. How is that right? Another child could be placed with you and be very happy indeed. It's not your fault that the girls wanted to stay with their foster parents. And this is what worries me about little Connor for example, that he will not settle in another adoptive setting because he sees his foster family as his "real" family.


Sorry misread your post at first. Don't know how old the mum was, they just said dad was 50. Maybe that's the reason why though although it wasn't given as such in the programme.
 
Very emotive programme. Enjoyed it immensely.

I agree. Little Connor's foster family should adopt him. He is a sweet little lad...and they all get on really well...quite a rare feet I should imagine. If he is moved again, irreversible damage will be done. That said, his foster family are not obliged to take him full time, but he is so well adjusted that it would be a shame for him not to stay with them, especially after all the work all the family have clearly invested in him.
 
Excellent post. You have had me in tears. It brought it all back. None of these kids asked for it either did they. It is very difficult isn't it when demand out weighs supply.

The daughters were brilliant with him to. I think they see him as their little brother. I suspect they will have hung onto him.
 
What a totally moving documentary from the BBC with "Panorama" be it from the 3 year old Connor who just so much wanted to be ensured of Love and to know it would not be taken away up to 14 year old Conner, so much pain and confusment from 13 years in care.

The programme was so well handled as can be seen here it affected so many of us here who perhaps took the Real Love we were given, there must be adoptive Parents for young Connor, he is only 4 and he will give as much love and joy as they will share with him.

I missed some parts of the programme, I know you can watch it on BBCi player but it is not the same, any chance Please someone has a copy they can put on DVD for me, I will gladly cover all costs.
 
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