Our marriage has been rocky latley with arguing. Is living together as...

S

sweetie

New member
...friends a doable thing? We love each other and things have been rough. He has said many mean things in anger in the last week and I have been heart broken but last night we talked and we discussed living as "friends" for a while to let the "hot items" cool off, before we do anything rash. Has anyone tried this?
 
Problem with living as friends as your first few weeks will be better, then you will end up fighting again.

Also being friends allows the doors to open for seeing other people, which can be hurtful to both of you.

Another thing about being friends, is it doesn't often solve the problems but ignores them. It allows you to not deal with them in the hope they go away. And that never works.

I'd suggest talk about what is making both of you feel that way. I know often people don't understand one another. Even miss very clear hints at what's bugging them. Perhaps ask him to write a letter on what's bugging him in life. Could be all sorts of problems.
 
You're suppose to argue. Marriage isn't suppose to be easy. People get married thinking it's going to be all rainbows and glitter but it's NOT. You both need to realize that and try harder. Also you just need to realize some things aren't worth arguing over. You two need to sit down and talk to each other. Not talk above each other or through each other. You both need to listen to the other person, not interupt, and compromise. Living as "friends" is moronic. You should already be friends. You got married to live as husband and wife, not roommates.
 
Huh??? Why not live together as the husband and wife that you are? Sure things may be tough...why not just agree to discuss the issue on a set date and get a mediator if needed. Why not just listen quietly to what he has to say then he keeps silent and listens to what you have to say so that both of you are heard and then find a way to create a win-win solution.

Arguing doesn't have to happen.
 
Honey, you can ignore the "hot issues", but, they will come back, so you are only postponing the inevitable. I would suggest you use that time to see a good therapist instead. Living as friends when you are not old is a bad idea.
 
Honey, you can ignore the "hot issues", but, they will come back, so you are only postponing the inevitable. I would suggest you use that time to see a good therapist instead. Living as friends when you are not old is a bad idea.
 
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