Twilight, along with its cash-cow sequels New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn are a four novel long vampire romance series appealing to up-and-coming young women with shitty taste in literary fiction. Twilight is shat out by hack writer Stephenie Meyer, whose phenomenal success indicates to many that Americans have lost what little taste they ever had. Chock-full of two-dimensional characters and completely devoid of originality, it reads like a 12-year-old's fanfic of Anne Rice. Avoid reading it at all costs because the book is a waste of paper and trees.
The books are cooking in the cesspool of the modern monster-drama genre, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and the Anita Blake series, where instead of being terrifying and ripping people in half, the monsters live among humans, go to high school, and shine like a thousand crystals under the sun, due to the fact that they are all soaked in their own jizz. More than half of each book is characters giving wry smiles, chuckling, hissing, glaring, and raising eyebrows during vapid and angsty conversation. The stories are written in the first person, from Bella Swan's point of view - but since she's an insipid airhead, it's easy for the reader to forget. If you dig a hole in middle-class suburbia and throw in a 16-year-old girl, a self-loathing emo vampire and a date-raping werewolf, you get the gist of the series. TL;DR: a hopeless romantic bitch obsesses over her vampire boyfriend who's been a virgin for a century.
Better
-Maximum Ride
-The Mortal Instruments Series
-A Great and Terrible Beauty, Rebel Angels, The Sweet Far Thing
-Blue Bloods
