Opinion on my poem please? :)) "Give Me Your Hand" (edited)?

C

cute_puppies

New member
The Pain
I am trapped inside a web
And there is no escape
I am alone
So alone
In a spider hole

Dark

My tears sprinkled the path of my time
And pretending filled out my smile
I need your hand
To pull me out
'Cause I am scared
I know not a way out

Hug me long, very long
Warm
In a blanket of love
Strong
In the shape of your arms
Don't ever let me go
I wan't escape
This time

Help me find a way to the sun
Again
'Cause I got blind
From all the tears
I spilled out with time
And my eyes are stinging
In pain

Mend me
A broken doll
Touch me
I am not a ghost.
 
i like your poem. i think u have potential/talent. though it's kind of emo, it's still good to me. I've tried creating my own poems before and they all turned out to be lame so i stopped but you could really go somewhere with this.
 
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