Hi
One year...wow. It's amazing how time flies. You have come a long, long way.
"Being free from the confines of the opiates that clouded my mind and modified my mood and emotions, is like standing on the lip of the Grand Canyon for the first time and taking in its grandeur and beauty. It's a sensation that we all should experience." ...
Absolutely brilliant! I agree 100%. I find myself looking back to my using days lately. I wonder how the heck I did it. My days revolved around OcyContin, literally from the moment I woke up, until the moment I hit R.E.M - and somedays I even dreampt about those horrible little pills.
I also find myself feeling overwhelming guilt and alot of "what if's?" What if I didn't have such a supportive husband and family, what if I ever got pulled over by a cop after 'picking up,' what if I decided to take my addiction to the next level (needles), what if I took one too many and woke up in crisis/detox? The list goes on and on. I am so thankful to be clean. I'm coming up on my one-year anniversary (late Feb.) - how will I celebrate?
My husband and I are relocating from Toronto to North Carolina in a few months and I worry that the stress may present some triggers. I've been seeing my Addictions Counsellor twice a week, and my Addictions Doctor once a week - that's how frightened I am. Reading your thread today gave me a little glimmer of hope

It felt like I was reading my own story. I feel the same way you do. I was in a similar situation as you, when I found this board. And, it was Reachout who replied to me first. I feel blessed to share this board with her.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings - your thread helped me today
With admiration,
emsmom