One year ago...

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camperlot1

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Believe it or not I followed you to the end. I remeraber you were going into rehab or something on Monday I think. But after day 3 or 4 you were a new person. I felt your pain I had been there once at that time. Twice now im doing great. I dont post much but do lots of reading.
Good luck to everyone on here trying, reading, posting.:wave: It's a great site to be on.
 
my dear friend,

WorRAB can't express right now the way I feel. I feel proud of you, proud to know you and proud to be your friend. 1 year!!! Wow, I agree with Reach, it does feel like we have known eachother for ages. What an amazing year of learning from our mistakes and picking each other back up when we sturabled.

The day you joined this board was a blessing to me and MANY others that have crossed your path. I remeraber the day you first posted. I was in the living room of my Mom's house when I logged on and read your first post. I felt so overwhlemed to write to you... Now I know the reason for that. You were and are something special.

The man you are today is something you should know is nothing less than amazing.

Thank you for everything you are to all of us. I always keep you in my prayers D and hold you close to my heart.

CONGRATS MY FRIEND. I am so HAPPY FOR YOU. My hair is still standing up all over my body from reading your post! Thank you for giving me yet another positive feeling :) It's been an honor being on this board with you and I have so much respect and admiration for you.

Blessings!
 
It's hard to believe that my first post on this forum was one year ago today. It seems so much longer ago. I was in a complete panic at the time, not understand anything about the drug I was taking and the withdrawals I was having. I was in full bloom withdrawals when I first posted and I was scared, confused, miserable and desperately needed help.

The people on this board came to my rescue. Secrets and Reachout were the first people to post and start helping me. I own so much to them and many, many others back then who helped me and to the continued support I've received over the last year from everyone. I honestly don't know how I would have done it without that help.

It still took me almost another month before I finally got off of the opiates. I fell victim to the cravings twice, but recovered in a day or two each time. Then I re-injured my neck in August and started the opiates again for the pain. I'm off them once again since the end of Noveraber and doing well. I've had three doctors tell me that I need surgery, but I just can't bring myself to doing that yet. In the mean time, I'm drug free, helping people (on the forum and off) and living life the best I can. Being free from the confines of the opiates that clouded my mind and modified my mood and emotions, is like standing on the lip of the Grand Canyon for the first time and taking in its grandeur and beauty. It's a sensation that we all should experience.

I just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who helped me on my journey over the last year!
 
I want to thank every for their nice comment and support. I haven't been able to get on-line much this last week or so do to other commitments. It may be another week before I find the time to spend more time on-line. Life speeRAB by us a breakneck speeRAB and we're luck to hang on for the ride.

I'm hoping that everyone is doing well and continuing to taper.

Reach - you always seem to say things so gracefully, where I just blurt out what's on my mind.
Secrets, thanks for the kind worRAB - yes the two of us have been through so much together.
TF - keep tapering!! You will get there. Don't be afraid of trying to step it up a little faster. If it works, you're just that much ahead. If it doesn't, just drop back.
camperlot1 - thanks for posting. It's been a long journey for both or us.
emsmom - It seems hard to remeraber wen I was in the middle of my heavy use, probably because I was sleeping most of the time. :-) I don't have any cravings or desire to go back there at all. In fact, I don't even drink anymore and I don't miss that either.
MvingForwrd - I was more than happy to help out.

I can honestly say that I am drug free now and I don't miss it in any way shape or form.
 
Hey


Hmmmmm... how can it only be a year when I feel like we have known each other for a lifetime at least????? Smiles. I so remeraber when you first came to the board. Life was a bit overwhelming then, huh? A lot overwhelming is probably more precise! Oh, all the things learned in the journey. To watch how you now share with others all that you have learned is a real blessing.

It is an honor to know you

reach
 
How fantastic it must be to be totally free of cravings and the desire to use! That's where i want to be - Congratulations!!
About my tapering...i AM going really slowly, but i think it's what i need to do because it helps me adjust myself both physically and mentally to each reduction. And i'm not having any symptoms of withdrawal at all - could it be because of the pace at which i'm tapering? - or is it just because i'm still at a relatively high dose (50mg daytime; 10 nitetime). Well, either way, it's good!
Just wanted to check in - have to go- hope everyone has great day!
TM
 
thank YOU. Whenever I have had a question, you have been right there to help me. I can't put into worRAB how much that means to me. I'm so very glad that you're here.
 
Hi

One year...wow. It's amazing how time flies. You have come a long, long way.

"Being free from the confines of the opiates that clouded my mind and modified my mood and emotions, is like standing on the lip of the Grand Canyon for the first time and taking in its grandeur and beauty. It's a sensation that we all should experience." ...

Absolutely brilliant! I agree 100%. I find myself looking back to my using days lately. I wonder how the heck I did it. My days revolved around OcyContin, literally from the moment I woke up, until the moment I hit R.E.M - and somedays I even dreampt about those horrible little pills.

I also find myself feeling overwhelming guilt and alot of "what if's?" What if I didn't have such a supportive husband and family, what if I ever got pulled over by a cop after 'picking up,' what if I decided to take my addiction to the next level (needles), what if I took one too many and woke up in crisis/detox? The list goes on and on. I am so thankful to be clean. I'm coming up on my one-year anniversary (late Feb.) - how will I celebrate?

My husband and I are relocating from Toronto to North Carolina in a few months and I worry that the stress may present some triggers. I've been seeing my Addictions Counsellor twice a week, and my Addictions Doctor once a week - that's how frightened I am. Reading your thread today gave me a little glimmer of hope :) It felt like I was reading my own story. I feel the same way you do. I was in a similar situation as you, when I found this board. And, it was Reachout who replied to me first. I feel blessed to share this board with her.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings - your thread helped me today :)

With admiration,
emsmom
 
congrats on being pain pill free. its a crazy ride that we are on for sure. I have about 50 days under my belt and have never been more happy and confused!? what i mean is that this battle to stay clean is a daily, sometimes hourly battle. I have since dropped all addictions. i am so happy each morning when i wake up and not worry about where to get or when to use or all the lies i have told. that makes me move this OLD BODY and get going once again. that is the only this i miss about the pain pills is being PAIN FREE, but its amazing how the body makes you NATURALLY Feel better when you just let it. congrats

d
 
I know what you mean FC. I wake up these days and I don't even think about pain pills, even though I wake up in pain every morning. I just figure how I'm going to deal with it today and determine what I can and can't do. I can say that my mind has changed this time, where I don't think about the pills as a way to get through the day. I'm so glad that you are doing better and have a different way about thinking. Yes, we all have stressors that tweak our stress levels everyday, but we need to learn how to deal with them w/o running for a drink or a pill bottle.
 
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