OMG teh scorpions in mah Harblz!

D

diane72112

New member
God damn it I was just sitting here just now with my laptop on my bed minding my own business and my leg starts to itch. So I'm scratching my leg and the itch doesn't seem to want to go away. THEN my brother comes in and sits down on my bed and turns on my PS2.
Five minutes later he jumps up and goes "Ow! What the fuck?!" When I look over he's batting at his stomach and side, and when he turns around there's a fucking 2-inch(not including tail) scorpion crawling along his belt.
I tell him "there's a fucking scorpion on your back" and he swats it off. I drop my copy of Gun Shy on it, killing it, and he walks out bitching about his stomach.
Then I think to myself, "Hey, I wonder if...." and I pull down my jeans and sure enough there on my leg is a fucking swollen sting mark. And now, ten minutes later, it really hurts.
I mean, how does one dumbass scorpion get the better of two grown men? We must both suck at being observant.
 
Are you the fucking god of posting in correct forums?

Christ, we have like 20 moderators, 5 super mods, and 2 admins. I'm sure we can fucking handle it.

Not to mention the fact that getting bit by a scorpion hurts like a mother fucker and does make your life suck, so this is entirely appropriate.

PS: You and your brother are dorks, draygoon!
 
Try telling me something I don't know. My brother's in the next room on the phone with his girlfriend saying "I could be allergic and I might die." And I'm whining on a forum full of strangers about it. I may as well have DORK shaved into my head.
 
Well, if I don't log on again by tomorrow night, you can probably assume something went terribly wrong. I'm thinking about calling in to work, saying it happened on the bottom of my foot, and I'm in too much pain to walk. But that would be the pussy thing to do, and God knows I sure don't look like a stud to you people right now.
 
I was just explaining to DG in the Art thread how I can't figure out how to post pics. If I can find my camera the sting and the scorpion that had a freaking hardback dropped on it will be in my profile pic shortly.
 
K. Go look at my profile pic. What you're seeing on top is the scorpion after I plucked its dead owned self out of my carpet and set it on the bathroom counter.

Below that is my thigh. Turns out the swelling and redness was mostly caused by my absent-minded scratching, because now it looks pretty much like a zit. Nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. Ah well. Enjoy my leg while it's there, ladies.
 
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