work in progress
New member
I wrote this poem a while ago, somewhere in the first few months of the school year. I'd like to improve it, so any advice would be greatly appreciated. I wrote this at fourteen, by the way (I'm fifteen now).
"Like A Torn Painting Still In It's Frame"
She can feel the looks, each curious stare
But she won't talk to people who don't care
Are they trying to get her to take the bait?
Are they trying to fill her up with hate?
Just treat this like a game
But be sure to remember to take some blame
‘Cause you’re filling her with a shame that she just wants to declaim
And no matter what you proclaim it is still all the same
This is all clouding up her head
This is all the million tears that she shed
And all their laughs and ridicule
Just become the fuel and tool
When they see each cut and take in each wound
Do they see how bad she was ruined?
They don’t even take time to try and care
So what if that’s another human life right there?
“We’ll just help take it away,
We’ll just help to lead her astray.”
Time for taunting and time for daunting
Time for mocking and time for knocking
They never see how far they’re going
So ignorantly unknowing
And she’s never showing and the blood is always flowing
They just can’t see that they go too far
All they care about is finding the next scar
Of course she’s more bizarre now that you don’t know where those are
“No, don’t wanna change, don’t wanna let them see,
They’ll only make this harder for me.”
And that, my friend, is a guarantee
And so they saw and so once again she’s hooked to that claw
So now they all can let her see that she is so very weak
So now there will be another wound for each insult that they speak
Because they don't care so why should she?
If she died who's fault would it be?
That’s a toss-up
Wonder what they’d think, should she drain the cup
But she doesn’t want this to show
Everyone would see when she’s that far below
So she cries alone, so no one knows
She hides it all to decompose
"Like A Torn Painting Still In It's Frame"
She can feel the looks, each curious stare
But she won't talk to people who don't care
Are they trying to get her to take the bait?
Are they trying to fill her up with hate?
Just treat this like a game
But be sure to remember to take some blame
‘Cause you’re filling her with a shame that she just wants to declaim
And no matter what you proclaim it is still all the same
This is all clouding up her head
This is all the million tears that she shed
And all their laughs and ridicule
Just become the fuel and tool
When they see each cut and take in each wound
Do they see how bad she was ruined?
They don’t even take time to try and care
So what if that’s another human life right there?
“We’ll just help take it away,
We’ll just help to lead her astray.”
Time for taunting and time for daunting
Time for mocking and time for knocking
They never see how far they’re going
So ignorantly unknowing
And she’s never showing and the blood is always flowing
They just can’t see that they go too far
All they care about is finding the next scar
Of course she’s more bizarre now that you don’t know where those are
“No, don’t wanna change, don’t wanna let them see,
They’ll only make this harder for me.”
And that, my friend, is a guarantee
And so they saw and so once again she’s hooked to that claw
So now they all can let her see that she is so very weak
So now there will be another wound for each insult that they speak
Because they don't care so why should she?
If she died who's fault would it be?
That’s a toss-up
Wonder what they’d think, should she drain the cup
But she doesn’t want this to show
Everyone would see when she’s that far below
So she cries alone, so no one knows
She hides it all to decompose