Ok so I have this weird situation, and I can not figure out what to do about it, now

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reneck girl

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we are 5 years in and? no light at the end of the tunnel. Long story short, I was with a guy, we had a son, he went away for about 5 years. We are both married (to other people) now, but his family just can't stop causing all of this drama between all of us. They are constantly calling me saying this one or that one said this or that, but then when I confront them, it's always the same things, "they are liars". My husband just wants to adopt my son & be done with all of it,after all he has raised him since he was 5. Would this be terrible for me to do or would it be understandable? My ex, always lies to me & blames his wife for everything, and then he's always trying to get me back when no one is around, so it would be better for all of us if we didn't have to see each other anymore....
 
you can't just erase your mistake. i'm sorry your son's other family are total idiots but you don't have the right to take them away on him.
 
You'd be best to check what the adoption laws are in the area where you live. In most places, for a man to adopt another man's child, the birth father has to sign documents relinquishing his rights and giving consent for the adoption.
Your ex's family is keeping you emotionally involved because of all the ongoing drama and that must be taking it's toll on you. You might need to have a restraining order placed on them prohibiting them to make contact you.
You're absolutely right!.....it will be better for all of you if there was no contact with this family.
Once your son is of legal age, he will have the right to seek out his birth father if he chooses to do that, but until then his best interests are your first responsibility and a stable, loving, secure family life for him to be raised in is key!!
 
It seems like you have answered your own question when you said "it would be better for all of us if we didn't have to see each other". Just try your best to pull yourself and your husband out of this mess one way or the other.
 
It has always been my belief that the more responsible adults there are around my children, the better. I would disagree with the adoption, as this whole thing is manageable, IF you look at it from a more mature perspective. Taking away a father who participates in your childs life is like robbery.
I have had family battles from in laws and exes myself, and I realized their behavior was terrible because I LET THEM TREAT ME POORLY.
You say your ex still tries to get you back when no one is around? What are YOU doing in any situation where he could have a personal private conversation with you? YOU put yourself in there. No man ever begs a woman who is untouchable. YOU're letting him in. Stop having any contact like that with him and you'll see tremendous improvement.
You're also doing the same with the in laws. YOU answer the phone, right? YOU allow the snappy gossip conversations to continue and YOU participate in them, no? Try this the next time they call and start gossiping. Simply and sweetly say "Ya know, Im really just over knowing everything about everyone elses business...who said this, who said that....Im really over it, aren't you?". Either they get mad, or they agree and are embarrassed. Tell them you don't care what other people are doing and saying, so don't relay it all to you anymore. I guarantee it will stop.
 
1st Does the child's father see him on a regular basis?
2nd What makes yu feel like you must talk to your ex's family?

When they call simply tell them any thing to do with the child will be discussed with the father and that its none of their concern. Then politely tell them you have to go and hang up if you do this every time some one from his family calls they will get the picture. especially if the more they continue to call the more rude you get.
They aren't the parent of the child so any decisions to do with the child don't come from them. what ever they say is opinion and we all know what opinions and butt holes are what everyone has in common so don't let them make you miserable.
If they want to see the child tell them to make the arrangements to see the child while he is with the father. Not your fault or problem if the father doesn't spend time with the child.
 
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