Ok as a Zen Buddhist can you have sex?

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Roland

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I am not a monk but a Zen Buddhist. Is it allow to have sex with your partner?
Assuming that you live with your girlfriend or that you have a wife.
 
There's nothing in Zen Buddhist teaching that prohibits lay people from having responsible sexual relations.

Sex is like any other area of human activity. It creates an opportunity for us to watch our minds and see how desire, anger and ignorance control our behaviors.

Because sexual intercourse can bring up deeply hidden feelings, it provides a context for discovering equally hidden intentions. When we become familiar with the intentions behind our actions, then we can make choices around them. The ability to choose consciously liberates us from suffering.

That's the inner meaning behind the Third Precept (to avoid actions undertaken in lust). Even when lust appears, we can learn from it - if we choose to study the feeling and reveal the intentions behind it.
 
The problem with sex in Buddhism is not the activity of sex, but the desire for it. No matter how many times you have sex, you will always have the desire for sex the next day. And desire leads to sufering.

So yes, you can have sex as a Buddhist. You are not prohibited. But if you ever hope to achieve Nirvana, you have to give up the desire for sex.
 
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