Oh, my.

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Today, as I was wading through four days worth of make up homework, I took a break to procrastinate. As I procrastinated, it randomly hit me that I'm a Junior in high school. And the more I think about that, the more I realized how much I've fucked up since my Freshman year. I could have busted my ass so I could graduate this December, but instead I have to take a full year next year, which means I'll have to put my big plans off until even later than I really want to.

And then I think about my big plans, which I've had since about sixth grade. For some reason, I've always wanted to move to Canada. I have a really good reason to now, but that's besides the point. My big plans are to get the fuck out of my hometown the summer after I graduate and relocate, permanently, to Canada. This will happen, even if it kills me. I think I'm finally realizing, though, just how hard it's going to be... and expensive.

All the money I had saved up at one point or another is mostly gone, and in the bank right now I have a total of fifty bucks. Which got me to thinking, I'm fucking terrible at managing money. I'm really bad about spending it on things I don't need, which is made worse by the fact that I never get any hours at my current job. I'm looking for a new job, but it's hard to find one around here. So basically, I'm financially fucked.

And not only is it going to be expensive, it's going to be scary. I've never really been outside my own little corner of this world. The more I think about my little town compared to where I'm headed, the more scared I get. Of course, I have a bit more direction with my plans than when they were formulated several years ago, and someone who should make the landing in a place completely foreign to me a bit softer. But it still scares me shitless. More or less, everything and everyone I've ever known is right here and I don't deal well with extreme change.

I'm just feeling... overwhelmed, and kind of like I'm running around in circles while accomplishing nothing. :sad:
 
Well Jesse, you've pretty much outlined what you should be doing in order to get where you want to be, so quit visiting Drift City so much and buckle down. You're too smart to just let life go on while you dream.

One of the things you could be doing right now is checking out the high school equivalency testing for the province in Canada to which you will be moving. You may be able to test out of the senior year and still get a HS diploma.

If you are moving to Canada, I'm assuming you are going to want to work, so you will need a work permit initially. And, in some cases, they will not provide one until and unless you can prove employment. Catch 22. So, start looking. Have your sweetie check out the local papers or yellow pages and find something you'd like to do. Send your resume, or call and ask for a job application.

Bad at budgeting? Start keeping a list, right now, while you aren't actually paying for room and board. Income and outgoing - very simple. You can project potential expenses so you know if you can afford going to the movies, or buying that CD. It's really a good habit to maintain and will help a lot when you are your own sole supporter.

You've got goals, which is fantastic. Start making lists of things to do, with timelines for completion. Get organized and stick to it. You'll feel a lot better as things are accomplished and the dreams become reality.

:hug: You can do whatever you set your mind to.
 
Jesse---take your big life plan and ignore it.

The best way to achieve your goals is too make time-specific short goals.

For example, if your overall goal is too graduate with honors next year, first write down what you have to do to accomplish that.

1. get good grades.
2. attend class
3. finish homework

Now break each of those into goals with time slots.

To get good grades you have to study. Set 1-2 hours per day for just reading your text books after dinner before bed.

Attend class every day (I don't know if you have a skipping problem, I sure did LOL)

To finish your homework do the same as for studying, but give yourself extra time for harder subjects. for me, I needed at least an hour to finish my statistics homework, 2 hours for economcis/financing, and about half an hour for psychology/english/human resources (my easiest subjects because everything they taught I had already read on my own)

The next and most important part of goa-setting is to give yourself rewards.

Make a chart with your daily (not life-plan) goals. Everytime you accomplish one, give yourself a gold star. Give half a star if you tried but just gave up (that happens to EVERYONE) and no star if you did not even try. Do not give yourself negative reinforcement like x's or sad faces, that will just make you feel bad. This is the opposite, called positive reinforcement. This way you will only focus on what you CAN accomplish. Remind yourself that if you can finish your english homework, then you can also finish your math homework.

Place a value on each star. At the end of each week, reward yourself per star you have gained. Do not take away from yourself because you missed a star (again, that is negative reinforcement which hurts self esteem).

Now, the great thing about doing this is you can also give yourself a star for actually sitting down and making your goal and time chart. This is the first step and first star.

1. Make goal chart at 7 pm.
2. Give self a star.
3. Hang chart on door or where you can see it every day.

Does this sound a bit kindergartenish? Good. Every wonder why everyone gets A's through grade school? This is why. Grade school teachers do this. They stop doing this in jr. high and high school which is why we have so many drop outs and people with low self esteem. Once you trade your goals for your GPA, you allow yourself to think badly about who you are because you did nto hit a certain number. That is not true.

GO JESSE!
 
It may seem overwhelming, but it's in your best interest to FUCKING DO IT!!! Live you life hun, try new things, get out there you only live once. Too many people have too many regrets of things they "wanted to do" but never did. You're young, on your way, finish out school, try to save some, and live out your idea. I'm sure you'll get help along the way.
 
Heh, but did you have fun? Seriously though I don't think "moving to Canada" is such a crazy idea. It's just colder, bundle up and have fun.

I wasn't suggesting mad amounts of Meth use followed by a quick hooker career. :tongue:
 
I'm 22 and already have arthritis...

But that's not the point.

Listen to DG, sweetheart. She's wise.:tongue:

Set goals, study, and do well.

And you know I can help you when you get here.:)
 
I'm really not that wise. I just tell everyone how to do the exact opposite of what I actually do. It makes you all think I'm wise.
 
You're pissed because you can't move to Canada to be with your Internet boyfriend? My life is at the best it's been in years and I still have more problems than you do.
 
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