oh boy ... I'm not good at asking for help but

[skrdmomma]

I am not a writer, blogger, excessive chatter etc. but i do need some help. I have been addicted to percocet, vicodin and tramadol for 4 years. i have had a few perioRAB of wd's symptoms that I thought would end my life. Most of the past 4 years I didn't actually think I was an "addict" but I know I am now. I have just taken my last pill and this time much like the last (which only lasted 4 or so days) this has got to be it for me and no one knows. No one knows that I have a problem, I just realized it myself and I have done my best to hide it, even from me. I feel like the next few days are going to be the end of my life. I want to get into my car, admit ALL of it and check myself in somewhere. I just want to lock myself away, but unfortunately I don't have that luxury. I have 3 children that I need to be there for and a life to try to pretend to run. The horrible part of all of this is that in less than a week I can get another script filled and I know I will want to. I am also scared because I have another surgery coming up that I know I will need help with and then do i go through all of this hard work right now just to have to go through all of this nonsense again? I am scared, I haven't a friend in the world that I can trust that I won't hurt or burden with this or that will ever look at me the same way if I fess up to any of this.

 

[cutiepie75]

we are both in the same boat...addicted to percocet...approx 10 a day...no one in my family knows (I'm the bread winner, being a single mother I have little choice).... Sadly it seems I've gotten very good at hiding this addiction. I am about ready to run out.. I will pray for you...and of course keep checking in on you. I'm just a second away if you ever need to talk.

Do you have any over the counter type products to help you through?

 

[nevamo]

hi skrdmomma,i've been lazy to post lately - iHAVE been reading every day 'tho, when i read your post i thought "this poor soul sounRAB a bit like myself" Like you I've been in & out of mini withdrawals going back about 7 years. Tramadol/Ultram is my problem, and like you I keep it all locked up inside. Not even my nearest & dearest has a clue. Yes! the w/d's are just awful! I sometimes get them when I've popped over my allowance, and am waiting for my next refill. I did get off them once or twice, but even after the physical w/d subsided the lure of the "high" is so overpowering that I just landed back at square one. I'm not much comfort to you, I know and I'd feel stupid giving you advice that I should be giving myself. But I just thought I'd emphatize with you and let you know that you are not alone---not on this board. Will you tag along with me for a while. I'd be interested in your progress or even lack of it, because I really know how your feeling i've been there and am still there. Next refill Iget Ihave to cut my intake in
half. Iwill explain another time, but I'll be in for a rough ride for SURE!!:dizzy: keep posting. Love Neve

 

[ozzybug]

skrdmomma-Sweetie, I am so sorry you feel you have no one to confide in that is close to you and can help you through this. It is a good thing that you are here talking about it though. The people here are very kind and supportive.

I have not had addiction problems, but my hubby fought two separate addictions and has been clean & sober for many years now. He thought he was hiding his addictions, but honestly? Sweetie, I knew. It was me who kind of kicked his back-side into gear. I had to give him an ultimatum and it was the hardest thing in the world to do because I loved him so much and didn't want to lose him to his substances of choice. It was BECAUSE I loved him I had to do it though.

Darlin' you might be very suprised at the support you might get from your frienRAB and loved ones if you open up to them. You see, my hubby actually was relieved when I confronted him. He had been carrying around guilt & shame for so long because he thought I would not respect him any more if he opened up to me. That just wasn't the case at all! It broke my heart when he told me that because it made me feel like I had failed him. I thought I had done a good job of making him see that as his wife, he could trust me with anything. That I am in this for the long haul.

Anyway- I just want you and the other ladies to know that you shouldn't have to fight this battle alone. Please, look deep within yourself and see the strong, beautiful person you are. The person who deserves good things, healing and a clean and sober lifestyle. Know that you are deserving of the support of others too! You would help a friend in this same boat, no? Then please find a way to at least open up to one person who is closest to you. You will be relieved to get this off your chest and again, you may be suprised at the support you might find. You might also be suprised the find out that some of the people closest to you already know something is going on, but just don't know how to approach you with their concerns.

I admire each and every one of you. It takes a lot of strength and bravery to admit you have a problem. I'm sending positive thoughts to all of you!

(((hugs)))