No One Cares(poem, i need help, advice on how to change it)?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Haley?
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Haley?

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ok, here it is any advice on fixing it would be great



No one cares

So many people; But no one cares

So many people; Everyone’s there
So many people; No one cares

So many people; No one looks
So many people; No one cares

So many people; No one sees
So many people; No one cares

So many people; No one hears
So many people; No one cares

So many people; No one listens
So many people; No one cares

So many people; No one asks
So many people; No one cares

So many people; Everyone wonders
So many people; yet no one cares

Only one person…




And they don’t even care
 
well, i personally think that it says the same thing a little to much, you might want to change it so that every sentence is a little longer and explain more.. i hope this helped!
 
only have 1 'so many people' ..... for example:



So many people; But no one cares

Everyone’s there
No one cares
No one looks
No one cares

So many people; No one sees
No one cares
No one hears
; No one cares

So many people; No one listens
No one cares
No one asks
; No one cares

So many people; Everyone wonders
So many people; yet no one cares

Only one person…
 
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