new to poetry. Finished a poem and would like feedback on what people like and what they feel needs changing. Thank You
Our eyes caught across the room
We felt it from the start
Cupid wasted little time
His arrow found our heart
I just a young man
A young lady was she
Blinded by the love we felt
Our mistakes we could not see
Convinced we'd stay together
Through the sands of time
We shared our love and our lives
What was hers and what was mine
We spent many late nights talking
Till the roosters stir
Both of us forgetting
How young we really were
Then without a warning sign
A civil war had begun
We shouted words we did not mean
Until the evening sun
Now the sun is slowly setting
As the world it turns to dark
Our love once a roaring flame
Is now but a single spark
The feelings that we once shared
Were almost all but lost
To return back to the day we met
I would pay at any cost
I hear her leave without a word
The door it slams behind
I try to find the words to bring her back
But they have vanished from my mind
Many seasons have now passed
But I think of her still
I try to carry on
But have lost all my will
I feel the tears burn
Down my cheeks as they fall
Without my love
I'm left with nothing at all
Our eyes caught across the room
We felt it from the start
Cupid wasted little time
His arrow found our heart
I just a young man
A young lady was she
Blinded by the love we felt
Our mistakes we could not see
Convinced we'd stay together
Through the sands of time
We shared our love and our lives
What was hers and what was mine
We spent many late nights talking
Till the roosters stir
Both of us forgetting
How young we really were
Then without a warning sign
A civil war had begun
We shouted words we did not mean
Until the evening sun
Now the sun is slowly setting
As the world it turns to dark
Our love once a roaring flame
Is now but a single spark
The feelings that we once shared
Were almost all but lost
To return back to the day we met
I would pay at any cost
I hear her leave without a word
The door it slams behind
I try to find the words to bring her back
But they have vanished from my mind
Many seasons have now passed
But I think of her still
I try to carry on
But have lost all my will
I feel the tears burn
Down my cheeks as they fall
Without my love
I'm left with nothing at all