New Here--Just a quick intro

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mommy2amoose

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Hi!
Just wanted to introduce myself to everyone. My name is Kim and, yes, you guessed it, an addict. I have been on the roller coaster for almost 10 years now. I am currently starting the recovery process...AGAIN...due to an addiction to pain meRAB. I just started Suboxone a few days ago, and boy, what a difference! I wish I would have known about this 6 years ago when I did a cold turkey w/drawl from Oxycontin and Norco. There is so much to cover I don't know where to begin, and I don't want my first post to be an extended one paragraph diatribe where you would just all get sick of me by the end;)

I will be going to my psychiatrist for the second time tomorrow (he is the one who has me on Sub). This guy is great. He gave me his personal phone # at the office (his direct line) so that I can always reach him, and has me call him every day to check on my progress! You just don't find 'em like that too often.

Also, I have been to NA, though it has been awhile. I figured once I got stabilized on the meRAB he has me on, I will be going again. I have other issues for which I have to see my doc. I am bipolar, and have an eating disorder(not active though).

I suppose that is enough for now. I would love to hear from any of you who wish to greet me or ask me any questions. And if I'm not doing the whole posting thing properly, etc..., it will not hurt my feelings for input on that as well.

I look forward to talking to you guys!

Kim
 
Hi Kim, and welcome....I have heard many good things about Suboxone. It does sound like a wonder drug. Personally I am trying to stay away from it because of a really horrid experience getting off methadone 30 years ago. But it's good to know it's a possibility if all else fails. I'm glad you're doing well on it, and keep us posted on your progress.
 
I am here...just reading...just put up my very first post. I understand the emotional state...I have been dealing all week with it. I feel very alone alot, even though I do have one friend to talk to about it openly. I came here too just to be heard...to tell my story...to let it go. My addiction was a complete secret...I was/am a functioning addict. Clean 5 days today though. I am unsure of your full situation...I will look for other threaRAB you have put out. Stay strong...I feel stronger today than I have in so long. So so long. But am highly aware that I could cry at any given moment about any given thing.
 
Welcome to the group Kim! Like NotPerky, I never tried Suboxone. During my detox recovery, I researched it and decided that it was not for me, but for some people who have been long term abusers, it seems like the right drug to help out. But, you have to make a plan to ween yourself off of the Sub also, which is a task in itself. It's not a replacement drug, but a drug to help you get clean without the Oxy withdrawals. Talk to your doctor about it and make a plan on how to ween off of it as well. I hope it works out for you. Good Luck!
 
Unfortunately, the board doesn't have people on it all the time to help out when you need them. Sometimes you have to wait a day before someone responRAB because of their busy lives. When I find the time I usually check in to see if I can offer advice.

Addictions are not only hard on YOU, but very hard on your family, because they don't completely understand the feeling unless they have been there. You and your husband need to talk and work together and make a goal to get off of the drugs together to you can live better, fuller lives together. Functioning together and planning for a future should be a goal. Once you can stop paying for the Sub and Psych, you can save for a car and do it together. Communication is the key. My wife and I talked about it constantly and I explained what I was going through and she helped me along the way. She was a key factor in helping me get through my nasty withdrawals. I even told my teen-aged son what I was going to go through before I started the detox, just so that he was informed. Communication is scary at times, but if everyone knows what the other is thinking then there are no surprises.

You should work with your doctor to get off of the Sub as soon as you can by making a tapering plan so you can get your life back in order. We're here listening!! :-)
 
Hi again!
Just wanted to thank those who took the time to respond to my earlier post and also to those who read it. I'm feeling kind of alone tonight. I have been doing pretty well since I started Sub on Tuesday, but it was a very stressful day:dizzy:.
To continue with my story, I am 34 and have been on one pain med or another for the past almost 10 years. It started out innocently enough (as I am sure most do) when I started taking Ultram and then Norco, and eventually Oxycontin for severe pelvic pain. Turns out my pain was somewhat founded...I had a complete hysterectomy 4 years ago. I have also had various health issues ( TMJ, severe dental probs., tore up my knee, and more recently, I was hospitalized for ab pain which turned out to be esophagitis, stomach and duodenal ulcer, and moderate bile duct obstruction).

I have an issue that I would like to bring up and a couple of questions.

ISSUE: Who on earth decided that Ultram should be a schedule IV med, and that it is non-addictive or only a slight risk? As of Tuesday of this week, I no longer take this devil drug. I was taking up to 3 pills every 2 hours, and sometimes not even that long. Twenty-24 in a day would not be uncommon. I actually years ago would take Norco and then when I ran out I would sub Ultram until I could get more; at my worst I was on Oxys and substituting Norco. Recently, it has been the opposite..I would take a bunch of Ultram and then sub Norco when I ran out.
Side Note : the first time I had to w/draw off of meRAB I was up to 18 Norco(10 mg) per day, and the last weekend I used Oxy I took a month supply in 5 days. My doctor decided enough was enough and pulled me off cold turkey. :nono:

QUESTION: I started Suboxone on Tuesday (lifesaver, and wish I had known about this when I did that w/drawal I just mentioned).
For those who have any experience with it,
1. what is a "typical" dose?(I know it varies on many factors)
2. is there a "usual" length of time that you stay on it?
3. when you put it under your tongue, how long does it take for it to dissolve for you? And...I hope I explain this correctly...as it is dissolving, and your mouth naturally produces saliva, is it ok to swallow? I mean, I don't know how you could not for 5-7 minutes. I haven't swallowed any pill pieces or anything, just curious.
4. does it make you nauseous (bitter taste, etc..)?

I am SOO SORRY that this is so Long, but hopefully you have a little of my background...if you didn't fall asleep half of the way through!! ;)

Thanks for listening...I look forward to hearing from you guys...you seem like a very caring bunch of people.
P.S. Any and all comments and questions are welcome and very much appreciated.
Kim
 


This usually happens when I reach out to people on message boarRAB. I finally get my nerve up to talk to people, then I pour my heart out. Waiting....waiting....no response. Do I need to do my posts differently? better title? or is it just the weekend and there aren't as many people on?


I am sorry to sound like "poor me", but I guess my emotions are all over the place right now, in addition to starting new meRAB, finding out I'm bi-polar, and maybe even ADD.

Also, I have been using my income tax refund money to pay the Psychiatrist and for the Sub, etc... My hubby knew all of this before I went, or even made the appointment. He has lately been wanting to get a car, even though we have access to one should we need to go on long trips etc.., and last night, he went in my wallet and took ALL of the money that I had in there (for doc, meRAB, etc..). This is my first real test since I decided to stop taking addictive meRAB on Monday. I am trying to handle it, but I don't have anybody to talk to, and I feel like...I don't even know how I feel right now. VERY UPSET!!!!:confused:

Please respond if you want to. I feel more alone now than I have in a long time, and I am new at this, and I don't know what to do.

Thanks,
Kim
 
Hi Kim, it does take time for people to respond on the board, so it does take patience. I don't respond to every post, because sometimes I don't feel I can contribute much and I don't want to annoy people by posting "Hang in there" messages with not much else of substance. I know the feeling of being alone. I had a really rough day with my son (30) yesterday, and was in a rage....with no one to talk to about it. And feeling even more agitated because I'm tapering. My normal response would have been to pop a pill to calm down....so at least I didn't do that.

One thing that does help is to keep all your current posts on one thread, so we can go back and refresh on your situation. Just a suggestion.

I hope you can find the inner strength to not fall back on drugs....consider each obstacle just another test that is being thrown your way...
 
First: There's nothing wrong with your post.

Second: I think detox is in and of itself a lonely, isolating process. Can you find any NA meetings near you?

The money situation always makes things worse, but without paying for the pain drugs, maybe that will help. I know that I'm spending way too much every money on mine and it will be great to have that $400-$600 back in my pocket. I don't know where you get your Rxs for the pain meRAB, but 2 of mine are online and they're *very* expensive. Perhaps in some odd form of denial, I never added up just how much they were costing me until about a month ago. I nearly fainted when I realized just how many dollars I was swallowing every day.

Don't give up on this board just because you haven't gotten a lot of replies. People can benefit from your experience, and just reading about other people's journey can also help you.

We're all walking on the same bumping road and the journey will knock us around for awhile, but I keep telling myself that there *will* be an end some sunny day.

R
 
I'm new too, but I've been checking the board 3 or 4 times a day. I too am an addict and trying to get off meRAB, I am also bipolar diagnosed at 17 and now am 34. Sometimes our partners don't understand that our meRAB and dr.'s are needed by us to literally survive life. Look me up if you need to talk and try talking to your partner and get him to understand. You will need his support most of all. The car can wait if you already have accses to one, your life and well being can't. Try to get him to understand. Good Luck and keep trying....
 
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