New and really need some advice.

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patty818

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Hi everyone:

I'm new to your boarRAB. My son is 24 and has had a drug problem for many years. He is currently on dauladid for back pain, he also like to shoot up anything you can I think. I've been trying for years to make him understand what he's doing, I"ve had him in 2 rehabs but nothing worked. He's now not working and sits at home all day, then complains of no money and well I've been buying his cig's and it not so much I mind the buying of them, coz I smoke, but he's not doing anything now except staying high all the time. He claims it just pot he's smoking, but I know the difference. Smoking pot does cause you to pass out in your food, talk with your eyes closed and be aggressive. I really need some help from those who've been thru this and those who've been addicted and may be able to tell me how to help him. I'm at a point now where I dont like him, don't want to talk to him or be around him. I dont beloieve thats a normal way to feel. If anyone can help I would appreciate it.

Thanks to you all.
 
hi Patty,
I am new to the board myself and really believe you have found a great place to come to for support.
That said, being an addict and also having to live w addicts in the past, i sooo understand what you are going thru. Theres nothing wrong w what you are feeling. I really think the best thing you could do is give him an choice to either get help or get out. I know that sounRAB harsh but hes not going to get any better own his own! Its going to coninue to keep getting worse til something is done. It took me a very long time to finally seek help. Sometimes tough love really is the best kind of love to give at times like this.
I really really am sorry your going thru this, I wish you the best of luck, and will keep you in my prayers.
 
Hi Patty - welcome to the board

I have to agree with want2bfree - give him a choice to either clean up or go someplace else. Nobody can make a person clean up their act - only that person can, once they finally hit bottom, realize that they need to get clean. They need to ask to go into detox or get off of the drug on their own.

Wish you the best!
 
Yes, you need to have him leave if he doesn't want help. Know you love him but you are hurting him more letting him stay home and do nothing. Very hard this tough love thing but most clean addicts will tell you the best thing was when their mom or Dad stopped enabling them. I wish you strength and courage.
 
Patty,

I am so sorry. My daughter is in the same boat. Only, shes practically being held Hostage by her boyfriend who is addicted to everything on the face of this earth.
I do know though, that we didn't help her any by paying her rent and all her bills the past 6 months. We sunk close to 8,000 into her rented house for rent, utilities and food. And now I wonder how much of that money really went to drugs??
Please keep us updated on your son.
This is so hard!! My oldest son died from a drug addiction to Methanphetamines, so I just am beside myself. I don't know if I can do this again.

Linda, Mom to Sarah
 
Hi Linda:

Thank you for your support. I'm so very sorry about your son, I can't even imagine the pain you've been thru. I have thought so many times about that happening and it scares me to much. I wish I could say something that could help, I"m so so sorry.

I know that addiction is very hard on the people who have it, but at the same time with both your daughter and my son I also believe that if they want help and to be off of this stuff its possible. I know everyday is a fight for them, but at the the same time in my sons case, stress is a problem he just can't handle it, so he runs to the drugs. I think my biggest problem is worry that the stress will cause him to do more drugs, but then I think he has to learn like the rest of us, life has stresses and we must deal with them. So in the past week, I've let his stresses play out with him, and not run to handle things. Its hard but neccessary. I wish you liuck with your daughter and will pray for all of us.

Hugs, Patty
 
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