New and having a rough time.

  • Thread starter Thread starter sham123
  • Start date Start date
Thanks for replying ladies:) I had a rough night. NO sleep, and I am trying to taper...only by one pill a day today. Tomorrow it will be two, and so on each day. I refuse to order any more pills online. Right now I am having serious brain zap feelings and anxiety...a heavy feeling like I can't breathe. I functioned at work...I was busy and that is a good thing. I don't take any pills with me to work in the morning come home at lunch and take my second dose. I just want to sleep, and am hoping tonight even for a few hours. It's like a punishment...to be struggling and not be able to sleep. I want this to be over with...but I think the withdrawl will serve as a reminder why not to do this stuff anymore. I just feel like i have made a mess out of my life. I have a long haul ahead of me. I have to be strong....
 
Hello Oneday (my strength)!!!Wow I am so happy to hear that you have a busy weekend planned and have been keeping busy!! Being busy really helps alot..I had really gotten to were I only wanted to stay in bed and just take pills all weekend ,not associating with anyone...It felt like a miracle for me to just be able to get up and go out!! What may seem like a normal everyday thing to most people, it feels amazing to us !!One thing that helps me is when I am doing something like to plant a flower,to think about how wonderful it feels to be out playing in the dirt and enjoying it !!!Then I think if I were to take a pill that wonderful feeling would go away!!Then comparing the 2 feelings I would not let that little pill take that away from me! Also now that I have you to share this with,helps me so much cause I say to myself that you have shared your strength with me to be strong and fight everyday and I do not want to let you down...lol!! But it is good to hear about your plans and that you are enjoying life!! It will get better each and everyday!! Besides what is a little pill compared to us?But be safe and God bless you!!! Huggs Kisses Prayers always My Friend !!
 
Hi my dear friend Cheyanne, wow congratulations...thats so incrediable that you bought yourself a car..a big treat for yourself..thats sooo amazing for you, i bet its such a great feeling for you, and you are so right on how much money we spent on drugs over the years, i am to scared to calculate how much i spent but i am sure its close to the same you spent (its a whole lot of money, thats all i can say), but now you are able to buy a car and i am saving mine now and seeing how much i save in a month,.. but thats great news and i am so happy for you....well today wasnt a great day for me as I woke up with cravings that i havnt had in along time..i hate that when i get them (which isnt that often, thank god), but still i find it hard and feel vulunable so i made sure i stay home and dont go anywhere so theres nothing to tempt me..i know i will not go back but we are still in early recovery and i am aware how easy it is to relapse, so i am very careful when i get days like that, it seems like its going away but still scary when i get it. I am still being strong in all of this and i am deternined not to darken that scary road again..like you said you have enough money now to buy a car..wow i still cant believe how happy i am for you girl..keep up the good work cause theres alot of people including myself whos so proud of you...tomorrow is a new day and i know i will feel better but to stay strong is the important thing right now...you will have to tell me what you bought yourself cause i am a car fanatic..i love cars, we have four of them, 1 for the summer and 1 for the winter and hubby has the same..my husband has been so supportive, i am really lucky he understanRAB my situation, hes been abstinete from drugs and alcohol for 5yrs now and i am so proud of him, but he works his program everyday and has a great sponsor which i have to get soon, i know having you to talk to helps me alot and thank you for that...well i wont keep you and lots of fun driving your new car hun....have fun and chat tomorrow and let you know how i am feeling...hugs and kisses always..cathy xoxox
 
good evening lagrl, hope u had a great day,(by the way my real name is Cathy)... i decided to have alittle nightime snack with a nice hot cup of tea and thought i would say hi...yummy i am eating shusi and its soooo good, at least its nice and light with very little calories which is good especially night time eating, tying to watch my weight cause its almost bikinni time..yahoo...i wanted to mention to you that i have this great work book called "A Womens Addiction Booklet" its a Guide to In Depth Healing and the author is "Lisa M. Najavits" I find this is a great book to read and i work on it everday, it has lots of great stuff in it, it has the 12 steps also some good questions for you to think about, right down your thoughts and has some pretty good stories from other addicts as well. You could probablly find one at a bookstore, library, also sometimes they sell them at the N.A. meetings..well my dear my eyes are closing on me but wanted to tell you about the book before i forget to mention it to you....wishing you a good nights sleep hopefully and hope you have a great day tomorrow....you are always in my prayers and sending you the strength to be clean yet another day for tomorrow....huggs and kisses to you and your family...Cathy xoxoxo
 
Good evening Cathy! How is it going? I missed yesterday,because I had a dental appointment and it was the crazy!! Oh before I get into that my name is Cheyenne.I am a forklift operator.I was thinking today that all the years of being addicted to pain pill killers:thats the new name I call those little things...Haha!!! It took an act of congress to get a hold of those things..Now that I have given it up those things are like falling from the sky..Too funny!! But my dentist visit I was hoping to just get a referral to have the wisdom tooth extracted but my dentist said that he could take of it right away! I went ahead an agreed to have the dentist remove it and first thing while given me the shots to nurab the area,the nerve was hit and my face was swollen as ever,well after 2hrs finally the tooth is gone,but my face looks like a lumpy cake,I also walked away with a black eye and a script for the killers!!! A month ago I would have done a dance and flips!! But the person today,ripped that script to shreRAB and tossed that baby!!!! But it is so funny how since given up that stuff how there's so many opportunities to get them with a struggle! But thats ol'temptation! I will take the little pain and heat wraps to get through it! But I couldnt wait to share that with you! I appreciate the information I do have a 12-step book but I don't think its the one that you mention I will ask about it at my next meeting!!Oh yes girl gotta get it right for the summer time....cause Cathy and Cheyenne will be out and about getting some sun and shade and enjoying it to the fullest!! YIPPEE!! Yes maam,it is true what you said about looking out for ourselves and each other so as to stay on the right road to recovery.We can only pray that those whom we dont hear from again are taking the time to work on their addiction..But we will be right here if they need us and be more than happy to hear they are doing okay and lend our support.Helping others also helps us and makes us stronger!But I hope you are doing well! Are you still working in your flowers? I have been making an effort to get outside and tend to my flower beRAB ,Cathy last year I let mine go to weeRAB cause I didnt have the energy or interest to get out..Now I look forward to that everyday!I wanted to ask how's sleep going? Is it getting better? Talk with you soon my friend and Stay strong!! God Bless You!! Huggs,Kisses,Strength and Prayers!!!Have a peaceful,restful night!
 
Hi Cathy,how are you today? I am so happy to hear that you took down that ol urge!! I know when that happens we are like oh no why cant it just leave us the heck alone!! But most things in order to succeed it has struggles along the way..But this time we are ready and determined not to give into that life again! I am so proud of you!!SounRAB like you had a plan and followed through that helped get you over that urge...I will remeraber that the next time I have an urge. Cause that urge can become so strong its like being on auto pilot and it is strange how our minRAB can play tricks on us when going through recovery.But thank you for sharing that with me I take your worRAB and advice straight to heart and mind.But a bad day here and there we can take that with a smile compared to that ol life of addiction where as everyday was starting to bring us down to the point we started feeling worthless,and we are total opposite that!! I see you as a wonderful friend that has helped me so much I will always be grateful for your frienRABhip.You have such a caring ,sharing good heart and never forget that please!! It is so nice to have support from your spouse!!! He should be so proud of the decisions he has made to change his life also!!!!I am so proud of the both of you!! My spouse is the same way in being supportive of my recovery!! He would ask every now and then if I was addicted to pills and I always denied it and he always trusted me!! I had to admit it to him and when he cried I felt so little,I didnt realize until I saw the tears, what am I doing to this person that has done nothing but treat me with love and respect.But we are making the changes needed before its to late!!! Even if that was our past way of life we learn that way life isn't for us!!And better for us to make the changes now than never!!! Oh about the car I guess thats something else we have in common!!I now have 2 cars, the one I just got is a 2010 Mazda3 it is so cute ,a big change from my other car which is a 08 mustang gt...I hope that its ok to name the cars here!!! But my husband surprise me !! It feels so good to see how much money we can save!! You getting the new furniture and having your backyard done and you being able to really smile and enjoy that means more than than that ol pill to us anyday from now on!!!We wont let that addiction take that away from us again!!!!But I will talk with you soon my friend and I pray that you and your family have a wonderful,weekend that will be filled with smiles!!!Huggs,Kisses,Strength,Prayers,and God Bless!! Be safe!
 
Hi there Onedayatatime22 !! just wanted to say hello and will keep you in my prayers ! Quitting on your own OMG!! you really truly have strong will power! Be very proud yourself...you have my utmost respect!! good luck and I have faith that you will be ok
 
hello my friend, well had a busy weekend and everything went great except my body..my head tells me i can all this but my body says other,..lol..but i did it after all, had to light a fire under my butt but at least it keeps me busy...i do know how u feel kept myself so busy), i had the biggest craving yesterday before my company arrived wow it was so powerful that it could be so easy to go back...i tell ya if i had found something i dont know what i would have done...thats how strong this addiction is, so glad my company arrived then i was ok, but at times u get that feeling maybe just for a sec or longer thats when i start doing something to get my mind off it and it quickly goes away,,HEY we didnt come this far to start...right....thats what i say...i am not going throgh all that AGAIN,,,,,easier said then done though but it can be done...we always have to think like u said its one pill and bed all over again if we choose that route or its having fun with luved ones, hearing the birRAB, etc...we can do this together no matter how hard its going to be, and we will have terriable cravings at times but like i say "my life know will focus in living in the solution, not the problem"....anyhow hun hope u had a great weekend and focus on today and we can be strong to be free today k....your in my prayers always and i care and want to hear how your feeling...chat soon my new friend...hugs and kissses.....chat sooon
 
Good Morning!! Its 2:30am OMG! I was tossing and turning so I just got out of bed for a few minutes! I am so proud of you for not giving in!!! I finally learn to accept that will be in our lives for awhile or could be forever!! But having people around helps alot..You handle that so very well!! I know what you mean I have pains in places I never knew exist!! I have alot of muscle aches too! But our bodies trying to get back to normal...most all healing process have aches but jeez..i just want to bite myself!!! lol. You are so on point when you say that our minRAB say we can do or we need to do this or that ,but it takes a lot of energy and like you said fire under our butts to get the lead out to get to moving..I tell you I think in the mornings that my blood is replaced with molasses lol..I know what you mean that craving can come on sooo strong but all it take is strength and as you said focus on something else and I eventually will go away..I must tell you again how proud I am of you!!Still no word from jenni? Well i will try to go back asleep! Talk with you soon! God Bless You! Huggs,Kisses,Strength,Prayers, My Friend
 
Hey my girl, so happy to hear from you again, your the best!, i do have to tell you how sorry i am for taking so long to answer you but things around here are alittle crazy with my lanRABcapers and the heat..its been 28 degrees celcious and my gosh its hot and i am a outside kinda girl so have been cleaning my beach and getting my new gazeboo ready, i dont have much time to do this cause my furniture arrives tomorrow so by the evening i am sooooo tired i crash...but we had to go to toronto on the weekend to purchase all my outdoor stuff for ev erything so yeh its been very busy but want to let you know i am doing great and luving every day, its amazing and i am so happy for you and your new car cause you DESERVE it my dear..you have come soooo far and i am soooo proud of you, you have great taste in vehicles like myself..hehehe....i drive the lexus 438 (i think), its the hard top convertiable, my hubby bought it for me for my birthday and in the winter when we have tons of snow i have range rover so we are so much alike...i wont even tell you what my hubby drives but anyhow its so nice to chat about fun things that makes us happy....but i will try to chat with you everyday cause i sure miss you when i dont...so yeh i got through that crazy craving i had, i jumped on my seadooo and had a good ride...but gotta run now and cant wait to hear from you again, i will be leaving frieday to go to my home town for a high school reunion and cant wait and also my birthday is tomorrow but i will be driving to my hometown for the weekend and i cant wait, so you probablly wont hear from me till mon. k..just to give u head up..keep up the great work girl and i will do the same, together we r on our path and i will be in touch soon...hugs, kisses..prayers always,....xoxoxox cathy
 
Back
Top