Needing a complicated financial phrase for a haunted house prop.?

Steve n Sarah

New member
I build all the props at The Haunted World in Caldwell,ID. I am stumped and looking for help, see we have a prop that looks like a man sitting at a desk in his office. Then it leaps into the air waving his arms up and down. The only thing missing is some sort of audio, and I was thinking it would be cool to have him spout off some complicated financial jargon but I don't know anything that doesn't sound lame. Can you help?
 
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