It's supposed to be about any experience you had and it should express some feeling. The poem shouldn't be direct, the reader should try to figure out what I'm trying to say. It's kind of confusing but does the poem make sense? And what does it seem I'm trying to say in it? Should I change it?
Be honest!
If it wasn’t for my brand new JCPenney coat
The one mom thought was too expensive to buy
I wouldn’t even be outside in the cold
It’s dark and windy as leaves are falling down
My older sister is raking the leaves in the yard
Looks like hard work so I guess I have to help
The rake is twice as tall as I am and pretty heavy
Takes a lot of force to just rake once
But it seems to come naturally to my sister
My sister’s wearing gray sweatpants with old shoes and a weird colored scarf
Definitely not as stylish as my outfit
The way my bright red coat matches with my white jeans
She’s working vigorously without even looking around
My pile of leaves is nowhere near half of hers
I try not to get my white fluffy boots dirty as I rake faster
As she leaves to get more black bags
I grab a huge handful of leaves from her pile
And throw it into mine
She’s gone for a while
Too long…
So I jump into her pile with both feet and leaves splatter everywhere
That’ll show her
Be honest!
If it wasn’t for my brand new JCPenney coat
The one mom thought was too expensive to buy
I wouldn’t even be outside in the cold
It’s dark and windy as leaves are falling down
My older sister is raking the leaves in the yard
Looks like hard work so I guess I have to help
The rake is twice as tall as I am and pretty heavy
Takes a lot of force to just rake once
But it seems to come naturally to my sister
My sister’s wearing gray sweatpants with old shoes and a weird colored scarf
Definitely not as stylish as my outfit
The way my bright red coat matches with my white jeans
She’s working vigorously without even looking around
My pile of leaves is nowhere near half of hers
I try not to get my white fluffy boots dirty as I rake faster
As she leaves to get more black bags
I grab a huge handful of leaves from her pile
And throw it into mine
She’s gone for a while
Too long…
So I jump into her pile with both feet and leaves splatter everywhere
That’ll show her