Need Support Again Please, withdrawal :(

  • Thread starter Thread starter mindy1974
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:angel: read thank you, thats just made me smile. its so powerful to hear someone say "hey your making progress! a slip does not make me a bad person!" your right! i feel better. my pain is through the roof but i have made some plans for the day and i know that will help. im going to get in the hot water today and stretch.
i will be going down 50mgs in my ultram today, and i will stay on this dose for a week.
thanks again
 
You are doing so well!! Getting things right with your family is essential and will give you more strength. Working with the PT will also help with your aches and pains. Also, be honest with your doctor about how you feel and what your goals are. They are there to help you. Keep up the good work!
 
thanks reach- your so right. a detailed inventory f all the things that seem overwhelming need to be put on paper. when i was little i reached for food when i was anxious, when i was older i reached for alcohol and pills. now i just need to reach with in me. that sounded cheesy but i think you get the idea.
 
Today was a bit better. Started out hard but its turned soft. No cravings today. I will not take a extra crurab of the valume tonight.
 
hi guys,

well i get 4 hours last night, woke up at 2 and was sweating like crazy and my stomach hurt and now the nausea is kicking in. lots of nightmares, i think i was crying in my sleep. honestly when i woke up i wanted to run to the bathroom and search for the valium and just take a bouble dose. i also have to tell on myself because last week while i was taking these meRAB i went through a friend medicine cabinet look to see if she had anything, she did and i took some. i feel so ashamed about it but i know when im on these drugs i do things i would never do in my normal life, steal , lie and hide, i hate that im capable of that. i have to remeraber how great it feels when its all over and the sleep and the laughter return. 3 years ago i found benzos and opiates and slipped away into a drug seeking haze for 2 years. after ending up in ER's and the mental ward 2 times i finally was able to get into a rehab for 3 months. it took me 2 moths to come off 12 different medications. it was hell, but because i was around 65 other people going through just what i was doing, some much worse off then me and some much better, i was able to do it. the feeling off being drug free was so powerful. i know i could end up back doing just what i did before but this time i would not have the luxury of a rehab and frienRAB to help, they swore they would leave if i ever did that again. that's why they don't know bout this withdrawal. im going to write alot and stay close because with out your help i will be back on the pill and then in no time drinking, and i know this time it will kill me.
 
Way to go!! You'll be looking back over your shoulder in a little while thinking, "Whew! I'm glad that it over!!"
 
Just wanted to note that I do have a couple of frienRAB whose fibro *did* go away after awhile, so there's always hope for that, too.

(OT: Well, lucky little you about the dating. Men find out how many boys I have and run terrified in the opposite direction. LOL)

I've begun to think that maybe the depression, which so many people here seem to experience, is just about the worst aspect of WD, especially as it lasts *so* much longer than the physical.

Well, here's hoping that we stay the course today.
 
i have read so many post here today and am so happy to see all-the support that is given-out, i too need so help during this horrible time. i was clean off all drugs for along time and then was in a accident and was put on all my old drugs, i did not want to do it but had no family or money to get alternative help. i was put on ultram mussel relaxor and valum. well the pain has passed and i'm working again but the old depression and flu like symptoms are coming on strong, and thats even before i started to tapper!!! my doctor said to just cut back a little off each one everyday and get ready for hell (truly thats what he said) my sponser from a 12 step program said to just go to meeting and get help. but im reaching out here because i dont trust my doctors tapering advice i need to get some suggestions and help from you guys. i need to check in everyday while i go through this. already the thoughts of hopeless shame and self disgust are filling my head. im so afraid of what the next few weeks of what withdraw are going to look like. my anxiety is through the roof. im a single female with a dog and a tin room that i rent. i dont have family but do have a few frienRAB. i want to go cold Turkey but i know that will end me up in the ER, with no one to help when i get out. can you guys help support me during this, all advice is greatly appreciated and welcome!

tahnk you,
derlinda
 
Keep on writing to us if that is helping. I have been away from the board a little this week because of my own situation that I'm going through, but I'll try to get on it a few more times a day. You don't want to go through your whole old situation again. Being off of the opiates and benzos (although short lived) was a blessing and that whole drug-induced cloud was lifted and I could feel and enjoy life again. It's a good feeling. Now, I'm worried about how long my pain will linger and if I'm going to have to stay on the opiates again. It scares me to think about the possibility of being on them again and the thought of withdrawals scares me even more. This board has been part of my therapy as well, whether going through withdrawals or trying to help other people.

The best thing is to take every day one day at a time and make it to the end of the day either not on drugs or taking a little less. Goals really do help. We're always here for anyone who wants to talk.
 
Yes, I did taper of Benzos (clonazepam) and I finished my tapering at the end of August. Like usual, I did my homework on it and I made sure that I tapered slowly, although I did taper at the end faster than I had expected. As a result, I did have a few extreme anxiety episodes, two of which I had to take something to calm me back down. I've never had anxiety like that ever before, so I'm sure it was a withdrawal symptom. I would and will suggest to people tapering off of Benzos to taper slower than for opiates.



Yes, you are in a tricky spot where you need to decide to live w/o the haze of drug over you and tolerate the pain or to maintain a dosage that controls the pain to acceptable levels. Many people cannot stop the dosage of their medicine at a level where the pain is tolerable, but slowly increase the dosage to addictive levels. It is a tough choice, since I am currently in pain myself and taking pain meRAB to reduce it down to bearable levels, I can totally understand the dilemma.

I think you are making the right choice and in my situation, I plan on not taking any more meRAB for the next few days before I visit the Pain Doc this week.
 
hi all. better mood today. i have a huge trip at the end of the week and im really anxious. im going to see my family and its been 2 rears. i really lost them when i relapsed last time so this is a big step for me to go back and clean things up. i know that once i feel good with them it will help alot with the cravings.
i will not use drugs to try to deal with my family. did i just say that? well i do mean it.
 
thanks secrets,

truth is i have some pretty impressive mood swings weather or not im going through withdrawal! :)

im soooo happy i handed over my pills to my friend because today i know i would abuse them. i have allot of work today and the people i am working with are rude and intense, so im sure i would have popped a few extra valuim to take the "edge" off!

i feel ok today and look forward to my next tapper on monday.

i have been spending allot of time in the warm water pool and that helps with the creepy crawlers in my legs.

have a great day all!
 
thanks for the advice. i will into that. i dropped off the pills today, so now i cant get my hanRAB on them. monday i go down another 25mgs on the ultam so that seems like a realistic goal. really down in the dumps today.
 
well i slept from 12 to 2:30. im mentally preparing myself for a day on no sleep. neck is on fire and thats that. the anxiety is worse then the pain. i have been here befor and i know it passes. just have to keep my chin up. i think the ultram is contributing to my flu like symtoms, it usually does that to me if i stay on it for to long. need to start a tapper on that again. ok new goals, better attutide, and stay busy.
 
secrets and denon thank you for your and insightful worRAB. i had to go back to the doc yesterday because of dizziness, swollen lymph, and fever. he said i hada infection and gave me a shot of steroiRAB and a z-pac. just being in his office made me depressed . i know i should be grateful that i have not lost my insurance yet i feel bitter that the last 7 years of my life have been in doc offices and pharmacies. ok thats a major lie but im feeling pretty down today so i like to make things sound worse then they are.
im looking-out my window right now and the snow is dumping. its so pretty, and my old dog is acting like a puppy becuase he loves the cold. so i am going to fallow his lead and just be excited that a new season is coming and that maybe this winter i will not be in as much pain as usual. i need to get back to being hopefull and helpfull for myself and others.
yo guys are great.
merry christmas!!!:)
 
I took cyrabalta for a while, but mostly for nerve pain. I didn't notice any ill mental effects from it and it actually gave me a boost of energy and a good outlook on life in general. I really liked the feeling. But, it had one sexual side effects that many anti-depression drugs can cause and my wife and I decided that I should stop taking it. I don't know how it would effect a woman. I'm doing well without it.
 
Ahhhh, hot water....sounRAB so relaxing! I hope you feel better. Hang in there and don't beat yourself up about a little bit extra Valium. We are rooting for you!
 
Popping a pill to take the edge off doesn't teach you how to deal with life on a whole. It masks it. You did the right thing by taking the pills to your friend. Next time you go asking for them ask yourself, "Am I getting them because I WANT them or because I NEED them." Dealing with everyday strifes and struggles helps build you into a better person and teaches you how to cope with them the next time they arise so, you can deal with them effectively.

You're doing great!!
 
I'm just so sorry you're having such a rugged day aready. I'm in there paddling the same boat with you.

Although I had to frequently take a lot of Xanax in the weeks after my husband died (.50mg 3-4 x/day), my use never evolved into addiction. My anxiety was so intense that I think I just metabolized every single milligram of it. Except for reading your journey, I don't really know too much about the detox process, so I'm just writing to help give you some support.

During the first week of my hydro detox I was drinking about a quart of pomegranate juice a day. For some reason, my body seemed to be telling me that it needed all the antioxidants it could get. As I've already written, acupuncture really helped with the craving end of the process, as well as with my headaches. I'm wondering if it might also help you.

So far today it's overcast and much cooler than it has been for the last few days, so maybe I'll be able to actually get out and take a walk. Maybe we can do a cyber-walk together. I managed a short one yesterday and it *did* feel good, even walking fairly slowly.

It's so hard to be brave, but I think you really are quite courageous. Every minute "free" is a victory--rather like WWI's slow advance up from the trenches and across the killing fielRAB, sometimes only taking a few feet at a time.

So, let's sally forth into the unknown, you and I, and grab each moment and hang on for dear life each second that we're free. AND if the burden beats us from time to time, let's not bury ourselves in remorse and recrimination. (Written as much to encourage you as myself.)
 
Hey Sweetheart!

So good to hear from you again. I have thought about you so often and wondered how you were doing.

I am so sorry you are going thru this right now! My heart goes out to you and of course I will be here to support you thru this. You do have US! We will stand by your side and help you thru the hard times.

Please keep us updated on how each day goes.... Posting always helped me when going thru withdrawal....

You are on my mind and in my heart! HANG IN THERE!
Hugs!
 
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