need support/advice

  • Thread starter Thread starter Wendy88
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Wendy88

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hi everyone
i am back on the board now and i hope that is ok. i am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart for my previous posts that crossed the line.
i hope you all will take me back and help me, as i am really ready for a new life without pills. Before I did want it, but i could feel my commitment may have been not 100%, but now, i have an additional reason to change the path I'm on.
I just got a fantastic new job which starts in 2 months and i refuse to start work addicted to pills. No matter how difficult it will be, i will not allow this to happen. I take my work and my reputation very seriously. It means more to me than getting high. This is why I know im ready to quit for real and why i came back. I need support and advice. i know i have a hard road ahead. but i also know that i need my mind clear etc so i can handle the stress of the new job and i cant obtain that level of clarity if im hung over all the time. so, it's time to really get on that wagon.
I have tried to quit cold turkey and i would do it again, but im thinking perhaps weaning down may be better?
Could someone tell me which they believe to me more successful? I have time to slowly wean myself off or i can go cold turkey since i am not currently working and can stay home during the w/RAB.
any advice is welcome.
I have been reading the board over the past month, and everyones stories are so helpful. you all are a great source of strength for people like me.
thanks in advance for any help
 
Hi Secrets! thanks for being so sweet!
I have been following your journey and posts. You are so strong! i hope you feel proud. :) I know you have have some up and downs as of late, and you have really been so awesome with staying true to your commitment to yourself... that's fantastic and i will use that as an inspiration when i go through my own tough times.
yeah i feel very positive about all this. I mean, it's scary and i dont want to fail, and i'll even miss taking them in some ways (im not gonna lie and pretend im superwoman)... but im tired of my current life and im so happy about my new job that I really want to get back to my old self so i can BE myself again and thrive in my new environment. my job will be high stress and i know myself and i will just be a stress and anxiety case if i continue on this path. So, it's gotta go. I just have to stick to that mantra.

i haven't started yet... im not sure which way to go about it, as cold turkey i CAN do, but it has never really stuck (although perhaps it was my attitude more than the method?). anyhow - i was thinking a slow taper might be a better way. i suffer from migraines and sometimes the cold turkey triggers migraines for me, which is the last thing i'll need during the first week!

I'm starting my work part time in town before i move though, so i need to get going on my journey before im working, packing etc. I need my energy back! Do you have any taper suggestions? I take about 8-10 or so 10/325 percocets a day.... sometimes a few less... and sometimes a couple more. I have only done an extremely fast taper before, like 2 or 3 days, and i don't think they were that successful... they more happened cause i had run out of pills. but now i can actually do a proper one. Is it ok if i ask how i should go about it? Like do i lessen by 1 a day every day? or is that too slow?
thanks for the kind welcome back to the board and the advice. I really appreciate it! have a good night!
 
Thats great! I'm so happy to hear that you're doing good. I wish you continued success! Take care & keep us posted. (((Hugs)))
 
one more positive thing i forgot to mention is my new job is out of the state i currently live in... which means new doctors etc... which is good. i mean, the dr. i see (and where i get my pills) in many ways is excellent at handling my bad back and migraines, but it will be helpful to go somewhere new where I won't have a doctor who is actively prescribing me those meRAB. It will make it easier to stay away from them being somewhere new where all my frienRAB do not use and i wont have a doctor who prescribes to me. So, lots of positive things in the future... the universe it setting me up to make some good changes in my life.
 
Hello Wendy & welcome back ! It sounRAB like you've had an awakening on your addiction & that you're finally ready to seek help & get yourself clean. I'm proud of you! Good luck & best wishes on your road to recovery. :D
 
Welcome back Wendy :)

It sounRAB like you really are ready. You've taken steps to start a good recovery. I just wanted to wish you lots of luck!

RegarRAB,
emsmom
 
thanks so much! i really appreciate the kind worRAB. i really do feel ready and im so glad i have this new, exciting job to help keep me on my path. it's been hard to implement these changes being unemployed with too much free time on my hanRAB, but now all that will change... and i'm so thankful for that!
thanks again for the note. :)
 
i gotta say, so far, the taper is the way to go... im sure i'll still be sick when im done, but so far, i'm not as sick as when i've done CT. my fiance is following my lead as well so we are supporting each other. he REALLY wants to stop as well.
today, Wed, i wont be taking any... and then may have to take them once more to push off w/RAB as i have to go look for apartments out of town this weekend and i don't want to be physically ill on my trip, especially cause i'm staying with family frienRAB. and then my pills are gone and i will have done a little taper ... im actually glad they are almost done. a feeling i usually don't feel. i guess sometimes you just hit a wall with this stuff. you just get so sick of living the way drugs make you live. i'm tired of being tired and want to be outside and enjoy the spring, exercise, pack, see frienRAB and go out to dinners before i move... instead of being tired and antisocial... all things the drugs have made me into and which aren't me. i'm writing all this so if i'm craving them sometime in the future, i can read this and remeraber all these good reasons why im quitting... besides that i want to get married etc... but the stuff i typed are all things just for me, that don't have to do with anyone else.
i'll keep you all posted.
thanks again for all the positive thoughts! you all are an inspiration to me.
 
Hey Wendy!

Great job!!!!! Your attitude sounRAB so positive and that is just great! I am happy to hear that you are REALLY ready to kick this. GOOD FOR YOU.

Keep going my dear and keep talking it out. That is the only thing that will really get you thru is talking and not feeling alone. I am so glad your fiance is doing this with you too! That is great. I wish him nothing but success as well.

I have to get back to work as I have to prepare for some out appointments now. I won't be back on until tomorrow.

Many blessings to you!
 
aww thanks hon. yeah i feel really good and in touch about it this time around. i mean, it is coming from within still (which i know is important).. but sometimes i need an external push to break me of bad habits.... and for me, work has always been one of those things that i'll do anything for. i love my line of work, it's in a creative field in the television industry, and i'd be stupid to risk it over something like this. just gotta remind myself of the strength i do possess... all the positive stuff i do that the pills take away (and don't enhance),,, cause i want those things back. i'm tired of feeling like a shell of myself.
im also gonna quit smoking tomorrow!
 
Welcome back Wendy!

It sounRAB like you have a whole new lease on life! I am very happy for you!!! I do not know what you did to cross the line but anyone who is ready to start their journey to sobriety is always welcome in my book!

Congrats on the new job!!! It sounRAB like you are going to have a fresh new start and I wish you just the most luck in the world!

For me tapering down was the only way to go. I have gone thru cold turkey withdrawal before and it was NOT by choice. It was because I took my prescribed meRAB way faster than what I was supposed to. I hated those days of my life. I probably went thru that a few more times than I would like to admit but honesty is the key in recovery! When I finally made the decision to face my addiction head on I decided the best way for me to go about it was to taper down because then the w/d was not as bad and it would not give me as bad of an urge to use. I did a very fast an agressive taper though and it was pretty darn miserable but I think that if I had to do it all over again for some reason then I would stretch it out longer. Cold turkey though is just my biggest nightmare which helps me not use. That is why they say it's important to feel w/d because it makes you fearful to use again.

I really hope you have endless success and I am glad you came back to the board. Please keep us posted. Have you stopped taking the pills or started to taper yet?

Good luck!
 
started my taper today. i feel good and positive. :)
probably going to do a relatively fast taper to i dont prolong this. i just want to get this all out of my system and the w/RAB. i have too much to do... packing etc and just want to get on with it so i can have my energy back. trying to just focus on the good and use that as my strength to propel me forward.
hope everyone had a good day!
 
hi there, congrates on your job, well to get to the point i to took up to 30 percs a day before then i gratduated to oxys, and an addict for 7yrs and just last wk a decided to quit, i did "at home detox" and tapered percs by half for the first couple days but i completely stopped the oxys first (i think any opiate will help with your withdrawals), then what i did was take a drug i didnt like so i had a friend who had morphine pills which she gave me to last the weening for last week and today is my laast day .cannot believe it, i already feel excited, joy, i am so committed this time but if u taper use a drug u dont like (opiate type drug), i had little withdrawals and almost done, cant beleive it but u can do it but use a drug u dont like it worked for me, wishing u the best and let me know how u r doing, i dont suggesgt u quit cold turkey,i think u r setting yourself up for failure, why go through all that pain when u dont have to..tapering is the best way i found...
 
hi one day
so how are you doing?
yes - i did that with vicodens before. i dont like them, and i dont get a high from them, but they keep me from getting ill, so that has helped me in the past to taper and to get use to not being high etc. but you still have to deal with the scary thought of how sick you may still feel when it's all said and done! ugh.
anyhow - im hanging in there. i hope you are too! best of luck to you!!!!
 
hi wendy, yeh its been along road but its all over for me at last, i have been clean for approx 30days now, (i dont count the days for some reason) i like to count one day at at time, but i feel sooooo much better and having the feeling of excitement again is just amazing...i think everyone on here is trying sooo hard to find there way and with the help of these boarRAB are and incrediable source for us ..as i read these boarRAB everyday...but i feel blessed for my sobriety today and yesterdeay and i pray everymorning to give me the strength and so far so good....i hope u r well as well...wishing u the best always,...prayers....thanks for your post
 
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