Need some support and happy thoughts

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havingahardtime

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I have been lurking for too long and want to join the community and need some support.

I am in the miRABt of a 30 day taper of Oxy....this is my third day totally clean and the WD are improving, but the craving and psychological urge to use is SO INTENSE.

When I started I was about 90 mg a day....the hardest was 30 to 15 to 7.5 to ZERO.

I want to use. I am finding excuses to allow myself permission to use.

I am desperate for support. Please help me.
 
Welcome!!

What strength and will power you've shown in your determination to quit! You have so much to be proud of! Cravings are the most difficult part of detoxing, I think. Do you have easy access to a supply of oxys? If so, I think it is imperative for your long-term success that you get rid of them. It's just too easy to give in if all you have to do is reach for them. I know exactly what you mean about trying to rationalize why it would be ok to take just one, or two.... I would suggest that when the cravings are bad you come to this board and READ, READ, READ! There are many inspiring stories here that will help you stay strong!!

Keep up the good work, and Keep posting! You will find a lot of support and encouragement from the merabers of this board . It helps to talk to people who have been through this and know exactly how you feel, doesn't it?!

Best wishes,
TF (don't even ask what that stanRAB for!)
 
Thank you for your kind worRAB, TF.

Today has been a rough day. I want the pills so bad. I flushed them...ALL of them...including the "secret stash" and it's the hardest thing I can remeraber doing.

I have pain issues; I have lupus and the pain is OFF THE CHARTS.

People say one day at a time; I'm at one hour at a time.

I am taking Xanax to help keep me calm and I know it's a benzo, but one thing at a time.

I can rationalize so many reasons why it is ok to take just one and that's why I had to get rid of them.

This is hard. So damn hard.

I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm scared, I'm pissed off at myself for this mess, I hurt physically and emotionally and just want to wake up in a week feeling better

Thanks for your kind thoughts
 
we all have sat and thought those thoughts and sometimes caved and sometimes had the sweet success of waking up knowing we did not use the night before. IT DOES GET EASER!! craving subtly get smaller, less all consuming. keep talking, Post 5 times a day, do what ever you have to do to remeraber what life was like without drugs. your withdraw is so fresh your thinking is still chemically messed up, do not trust your brain right now, just dont listen.
you can do this!!!!
 
I am currently going through it too. I quit cold turkey about a week ago. The serious WD symptoms have faded, but the mental craving is still there, somewhat. Your not alone in this. Just take it one day at a time, every day it will get better. This is my second time going through this, and there will not be a third time. I already am starting to feel motivated again, wanting to get out and do things. I sware thats the best part of going clean, is getting out and enjoying life again.

When the mental cravings start to get unbearable, try to keep yourself busy. Clean, do laundry, even just go out for a drive, or a walk. Plan you next day, fill it with things to do, and most importantly, do them. The days will go by quicker, and like I said everyday you make it, the cravings get better. Theres always going to be some small craving every now and again, but the longer your clean, the easier it is to stay that way.
 
Try and find an NA group. Look in the yellow pages of your phone book to see if there is an emergency support hotline for Drugs and Alcohol and call them. I hope you hang in there and look for help and support it is out there and so many people in your shoes are doing very well with going to a group and getting the support they support each other and are not alone and understand what each other are going through. I wish you the best take care.
Dohna
 
hang in there, you have alot of strength to be able to taper, but me that was just not an option, cold turkey was the only way for me. how are you doin now?
 
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