So I'm going to be 17 and Ive never had a boyfriend, I'm homeschooled right, so my options on guys are kindaaa limited other then guys I know from my church..but most of them have girl friends or don't like me or I just don't like them. So basically latlely I have been feeling kinda down feeling like I'm never going to find the "one" Ive grown up with a big family and my brother has always had a lot of girlfriends and my uncles dated alot..my cousin just got her first boy friend and I have just ALWAYS been looking forward to getting a boyfriend..I love everything about guys, I don't really get along with girls that well. I hate being alone and I just have always kinda been on the look out for that guy, but Ive just never found him:/ and I'm getting kinda nervous now that I only have like little over a year of school left because I'm not planning on going to college and like how am I suppose to find a boyfriend then?! SO anyways Ive always been the "innocent" one, the pretty one, the skinny one, the sweet one, then why do ALL my friends have amazing boyfriends and I'm left in the dust? lately I have been feeling really bored with life, like you do the same thing everyday, hang out with the same people, boring boring yawn yawn. And so I'm thinking I really just want to do something fun! take some risks! get out of this boring old rut! And all of a sudden I go to this "get together" with a girl from my church "she goes to a public school" and theres a guy whos clearly not christian, but he was cute and funny and he asks for my number so I'm like yea alright whatever..so we get texting and hes kinda a boring texter but I like talking to him anyways but I find out a lot of things about him..like he's in a gang, hes a stoner, he has 7 brothers no sisters, he lost his license, hes had about 100 girl friends, basically the biggest man whore ever TOTAL rebel, not my type of guy at all but yet I can't stop talking to him. I invited him to my youth group to "get to know him better in a group setting" which is what youre suppose to do so they say and guess what? he comes DRUNK like what and the worst part is I didn't even notice! until he told me he was kinda "confuses" and wanted to follow me home because he lives like 5 minutes down the road from me. my best friend was furious and basically said theres no WAY I'm dating him and now wont do anything with hem again, so I cant really either. shes always been my crutch, and my parents def wont let me hang out with a guy whos not christian from public school all alone. But he calls me beautiful, and says things like he thinks my braces and constant rosy cheeks are cute. Well I kinda want him..like Ive never done anything remotely bad in my life, ALWAYS played it safe. and it seems just when I start to give up hope this guy comes along. I kinda want to go for it and date him, yet I know its not going to be all fun and games with him either, because he has a hard life. I feel like maybe I want to just date him, have some fun..not really the type I wanna marry, and then move on. Yet I would feel bad, and I don'y know if I wanna lose my inncoents to someone like this..(never even hugged a guy in more then a friend sorta way) Theres always a part of me that wants to be a rebel and speak my mind, and theres always a part of me that wants to be sweet a inncoent, the girl everyone thinks I am. I just don't know which to choose..
Need opinions on if I should date this guy? A little long but PLEASE read?
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