S
Sillygrl
Guest
I have major anxiety and I also have OCD. I am so sick and tired of being a worrier. I feel like I am wasting my life worrying about what might happen. I waste too much time on worrying and not enough on living in the moment. I have a really hard time with change. I just recently moved out of my boyfriend's mom's house with my bf. We moved to his hometown about 3 years ago to finish school. That was the hardest time of my life as I left my family and frienRAB. For 3 years we wanted our own place again and now that it has finally happened, all I am is depressed. I miss his mom's place because it was nice having someone around while my bf works nights. Now, all I worry about is someone breaking in or hearing strange noises. Not to mention, I am utterly and horribly lonely. I have not been very successful in finding frienRAB in this town and when my bf is at work, I am at home alone and all I want to do is cry. I have been crying since we moved and I feel so guilty to turn what should have been a wonderful time in our lives into a big depressive mess. Not only do I worry about people breaking in, I worry about my loved ones and myself dying. My bf and I are going to visit my family for Thanksgiving. It is a 4 hour drive and the weather has been pretty nasty. He has to come home early, by himself and I am a mess worrying about him ALREADY. I worry that since we have to travel so far to see my family that it is only eventual that someone will get into an accident. I want to move back to my hometown so bad, just so I don't have to worry about all that (not to mention, I won't be lonely anymore), but he is not done with school. I also worry about getting sick. I have been a mess this week worrying that I will get sick or my bf will get sick and I can't go see my family. I miss them so much and if I can't go, I don't know how I will cope. Coping...not so good at that.
Some of the best times of my life have been touched by my worrying. I went to Europe for the first time this past summer. I worried that my bf or I would get sick during the trip and it would damper our time there. I worried that I would get us into an accident driving on the other side of the road. I worried about the plane crashing. Guess what? None of that even happened and I wasted so much of my energy on the worrying. My chest hurts, my eyes are red from crying and I am mentally exhausted. What can I do to be happy, even if I am alone? How can I relax and not worry and just let things be what they are? Ugh, someone please give me some guidance...
Some of the best times of my life have been touched by my worrying. I went to Europe for the first time this past summer. I worried that my bf or I would get sick during the trip and it would damper our time there. I worried that I would get us into an accident driving on the other side of the road. I worried about the plane crashing. Guess what? None of that even happened and I wasted so much of my energy on the worrying. My chest hurts, my eyes are red from crying and I am mentally exhausted. What can I do to be happy, even if I am alone? How can I relax and not worry and just let things be what they are? Ugh, someone please give me some guidance...
