Need help with the starting sentence of a business proposal..?

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Mike20089

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Hi folks,

Since Enlgish isn't my mother language, it's some times difficult to write correct, solid and effective business proposals to my international (English speaking) clients.

Right now, I'm struggling to get the first sentence of a business proposal correclty. This is what I have, and I'm wondering if this is the right way to put it:

"Thank you for taking the time to review my proposal. I am pleased to propose a suitable, cost effective solution that will meet your needs of an excellent new logo for your application."

Can you say this? "..that will meet your needs of an excellent new logo for your application." ? Or should I formulate this differently?

Thanks for your advice!

Kind regards,
Roel
The Netherlands
 
I think you have written it quite well with the exception of a few minor things. The word 'needs'. It is singular...need. The word 'of 'should in my opinion be 'for' . I also wonder whether excellent would be better as 'exciting'. You could also end the sentence at the word logo which would make it less wordy and more to the point. It is a rather long sentence and they know what the logo si for.
I wish you well ,good luck!
 
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