Need help/support getting off morphine!!!

  • Thread starter Thread starter desperately
  • Start date Start date
D

desperately

Guest
Hello, I have been on morphine for the past 2 years. The doctor prescribed it to me after I had my second child. I was getting sciatica (sp?) constantly after having her and lower back pain. I had been taking 60mg's 3 x's a day. I cut my dosage down to one 60 mg tablet, then usually after about 12-15 hrs., I give in and take another. Twice in the past week I have tried to not take it and have been going through HELL!!! The first time I tried to go off, I went about 30 hours without taking a dose. The second time just passed when I went for 36 hours, but gave in because I felt like dying would be better. Obviously that is NOT an option, I am a mother of two young girls and take care of them all day and night. I just don't know what to do, or where to turn. Yes, the back pain comes back and it is unbareable. But I am a slave to this drug. It owns me. It's not fair to my girls or my husband. I am literally afraid to go to my doctor because the whole doctors office treats my like crap every time I call for my refill. Am I addicted to it now...yes. Did I prescribe it to myself...no. But they still treat me like dirt. I just can't handle this anymore. I am disappointed in myself for taking the pill after 36 hours...I just kept thinking if I can just get through this. And the pain, shaking, sweating, going to the bathroom, taking a million baths etc., was all just taking away from the girls. All I wanted to do was just feel "normal" so I could sit down and listen to what they had to say to me instead of not being able to focus. My husband will be home over the weekend and this is when I would like to try again. That way, he can help with the girls and give them what they need/deserve. I hate myself for this person I have become and am so disappointed in myself. I don't know if any of you can relate, but I am so desperate for any help/advice/support at this point, I'm all ears!

Thank you very much for your time,
desperately
 
I am familiar with how you are feeling. Have you tried Suboxone? It's the only way I could get off the painkillers.
 
Don't beat yourself up so badly, alot of people few the same way as you do. So do I, I take two 60mg's and two perc's. I hate the pill counting. Everyday the same thing, as soon as I wake up. Make sure I take the pills. Feeling like crap when I run out. I am so sick of it. Believe me. I've tried the suboxon it sucks too. I think it worse than the other. Tapering is the only cure, but you have to really want to do it. But when the pain takes over again, seems like nothing matters. I'd rather be pain free, but the side effects of these demon pill are awful. I just became a father two years ago and it ruined my relationship, I look at my son and wonder what am I going to do in the next ten years? Still taking pain pills to get me through my day. I have legit pain but the cost of dulling the pain and dealing with the side effects and yes pain pills do have this awful side effect. If don't take them your miserable,if you do your high but miserable. What your perscribed is never enough, I've tried and tried to take mine like the doctor said, but I never do. I'm going through the misery until the next doctor's appointment again and again. I've been doing drugs my whole life and this is the worse thing I have ever experienced. Withdrawals, have got to be the worse thing. That sick hazy feeling especially in the morning. If you really want to quit, talk to your doc,
shoot streight with him or her. Mind is very understanding. I've been on oc's, told him never ever give those to me again. Pertended I didn't like the way the made me feel, hah, what a joke that was. The problem was I loved the way the made me feel and if I didn't stop taking them I would probably be dead. I still take the morphine, but like the ladder part of the word say's phine. That's what we really are phines We like to be painfree, but what we really like is to be painfree and high. Seems to go together don't you think? But those withdrawals have got to be the worst thing we have to put up with. Seems like a catch 20/20 your damned if you do and your damned it you don't take them. Oh the misery.
 
First of all you are NOT Addicted to the pain killers, your body has become dependent on them! This is not your fault at all, physical dependence happens to most people that have been taking pain killers for long perioRAB fo time for chronic pain. It's clear that you aren't taking them to 'get high' but for pain relief and that just further emphasizes my belief that you only have physical dependence on them and not mental addiciton. Are you taking them as prescribed normally when you're not trying to get off of them? What you need to do is talk to your doctor about wanting to get off of them SLOWLY. He/she will most likely slowly lower your dose (but not your frequency yet) over several MONTHS not days, until you are almost off of them. If you then have a hard time going from the lowest dose to cold turkey, then you can certainly try Suboxone (meant for getting through opiate depences, but doesn't work on pain) or you could try some other oral pain meRAB to help with the withdrawals. I hope this helps, but this is the best thing for you. Also, it can be very dangerous for you to try and detox on your own. You doctor will also give you an Rx for nausea and vomiting. You will need these to help you so you don't ahve that 'wanting to die' feeling. If you have any other questions or just need someone to listen we are here. good luck!
 
Dear Desperate,

I am also a mother with young children and I am also in what feels like one of the biggest struggles on the mountain of my life. I really hear what you're saying. This board is a safe place.

We *can* make it through this tortured process. I just know it. But sometimes it feels so hard, and that's when, for me, I need to come back here and read how other people are doing and have done. You've found a ring of support to help comfort and inspire you on this board. At any rate, that's how I feel about this place.

Keep us posted.

Reader
 
hi hope your ok today, i got siatica in jan ,i was on 20=30 mgs of percs for 2 months , i could feel it pulling me in , i had to taper ,my md was also aware of past alcohol an drug addiction , it was not easy but it can be done ,an you will feel so much better , you could try the suboxone , i have heard great things about this med , my friend takes it , an it kills his siatica pain, i too live with siatica ,an fibro ,my friend was on heroin, my siatica,use aleve for pain, strethching ,staying active is important ,it has done wonders after time, it did not go away overnight , i had to rebuild the gludious mussles ,,the pain killers made my pain worse over time, more more more i was not going to play that game you dont have to either, keep us updated:wave::wave:scott
 
I can only second everything that "New To CP" advised. This is a physical dependency, your not a bad person because you have taken medication that has been prescribed to you. I had my second back surgery 6 weeks ago today. It seems to have been successful, unlike the surgery of 2002. I am in my 3rd week of the withdrawal process from Avinza. The pain management doctor I have been with for the last 6 years is helping me gradually drop the dosage. I know it is going to take a while but I will get off this medication. PLEASE don't try to do this yourself, work with your doctor instead.

Have you had an MRI to determine what is causing your scatica pain or an EMG to determine if you have nerve impairment and what is causing it? Surgery may be an answer to the underlying problem that has you on the medication in the first place. One important piece of advice though - only allow a neurosurgeon to operate on your spine. An Orthopedic did my first surgery which was a major mistake! The neurosurgeon found loose bone from that surgery along with scar tissue tightly packed, wrapped around everything. At 6 weeks out I am still having minimal low back pain but after years of hip, right leg and foot pain it is all gone. I am thrilled.

Good luck to you. You can do this, you just have to have help instead of beating yourself up and oing it on your own!
 
Back
Top