Need help living in the closet, How can i have sex with a girl?

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Anthony

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I've read many things about closet gays in this, so i mainly made this account to talk to someone and seek advice, I'm too repressed. I'm a 17 year old kid, and I've lived a normal happy life until since like i turned 16, I have an attraction to older men, and i would always tell myself it would leave after like middle school or something. I have alot of good friends and I'm in the xc team for my school. When i realized im like this forever like in 8th grade, I thought i was bi, cuz i liked girls and had a girlfriend. But i barely did anything with her, When i was in 9th grade and i would b at some parties i liked dancing with girls and evryhthing, but in my sophomore year is when i realized I couldnt get a boner with a girl, and it hit me hard like my Main thing in life is to have a family, and have children, I love kids and would love to be a father. Know im talking to dis oder girl and we hav ahd times together and like when it comes to sexual attraction i like it for a lil, its ver very hard to get a hard on so i start thinnking gay thoughts to b able to hav sex, but something alwasy happens so im still a virgin. I'm a smart kid, I've actually had a hard life, but nothing gets me down I'm always happy and help other people and even though i have problems with family and alot of things I alwasy look at the good side, but the last few weeks im being way to depressed, I think i cant have a "normal" life, i kno alot would say im gay and just should live my life like that but i cant, im only attracted to older men, also its impossibel for me it's wierd i wouldnt accept myself idk, srry for the misspelling and thank you if you read this whole thing and gave me any advice =]
 
ok, you can identify yourself as bisexual. Ive got a friend who was in the same situation (but after 5 years admitted he was gay) so heres what he did
Now get some older men porn and have a play with yourself. This will lock in your mind the image that you are seeing and the sensation of getting off. You may have to repeat this a few times. Then when you are involved in sex with her and you are finding it hard to stay hard, think of these images and you should be able to finish the job.

My advice is that if you cannot bring yourself to have sex with a girl (or finish) then you are gay. but that doesnt mean you have to strap a fairy sign to your back!
You can remain in the closet (being in the closet doesnt mean you create a fake life to hold up in front of everyone, it just means that you dont advertise or announce that you are gay). Tell your freinds that you have an interstate girlfriend if you want. Meet guys online and in clubs that are not in your area. Its easy to do and you wont have to emotinally damage a girl or yourself in the process.

good luck
 
You won't have a "normal life" pretending you are something you are not either. You can still have a "normal life" and family and be gay so cheer up and except yourself.
 
well i cant really compare to your story, cuz i dont know anyone who has those feelings towards same sex. but i can sure attempt to give ya some helpful adivce. i think that you should stop worryin about whut others think and whut society considers TYPICAL. i mean i know you wouldnt mind a fam and kids when ur older but i mean just let time owrk itself out. its not like havin a fam and all is outa the picture, and be open minded, who knows maybe you might end up falling for this girl that you never thought was possible and maybe this is just a whole phase your goin through. just keep stickin ur head up high, look on the positive side and ppl dont get to chose how their past is dealt out, so just look to the future and go with ur gut wish ya all the best bud
 
Aww.... You sound majorly confused baby. I remember those times were tough for me too. Well, let's start at the beginning, you're 17. Males don't hit their sexual peak until they're in their 20s so that could be why you're having issues with a girl. Could be also that you're distracted. Give it some times and as you grow older and your body becomes more accustomed to sex it'll get easier and easier to be with girls, if you're attracted to them. If you just can't bring yourself to have sex with a woman, then perhaps you really are gay, and there's nothing wrong with that. If it comes down to that you are gay you can still be a father. You would just have to have surrogate mother or a very good friend who's willing to carry. It's an extremely challenging time when everyone your age seems to be exploring sex and whatnot and you don't what to do. Hang in there, hon. Just give it time and your answers will come. Your body is just telling you aren't ready just yet.
 
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