Sverige, hey, you do what you have to do. Sometimes only you know what it is you have to do. What you are attempting to do is tough, really tough.
Opiate dependency and withdrawls hasn't change since it's beginning. Tapering down is just a milder form, easier for some, not for others, of one day making that mental decision to quit. Cold turkey. It's hard, really hard. Day 8, 9, 10, all around in there, not lessening the degree of all the other days, wow, you are in the thick of it.
I can only caution you, at this point, based on my own experience, that to control your own access to your meRAB is probably a burden you should put in someone elses control. Someone you trust that understanRAB what you are trying to do. UnderstanRAB that YOU are not YOU through all of this. The YOU, you are trying to bring back, is not the you hear now capable of making all the right decisions. The you here now is medicated!
It takes about, 8 to 9 days for all the suboxone to leave your system. That's if you jump off at 4mg. I believe it is something like this.....about every 37 hours you body, if you drink lots of water, and eat, your body reduces the amount of sub in your system by half. Sucks! This stuff takes a long time to go away. It's strong, very strong.
All through this process of getting YOU back, getting off this poison, you who are medicated, has to make difficult decisions. Some will be right, some wrong. Some useless, some very meaningful. Some you should make yourself, other decisions you should try not to burden yourself with. Ask for help. Let someone you trust make those decisions. Your main task at this point is to deal with the suffering and stay mentally strong.
By taking some sub at this point, only you will know, once YOU succeed, if it polonged the time to success or helped you get to success. Stay focussed and flush the meRAB.
I wish you luck, my blessings will be with you.
John Lennon with the Plastic Ono band wrote a song called Cold Turkey. He discribes opiate withdrawls in the song, written 35 yrs + ago, from his own experience. It doesn't change and it ain't no better now than it was then. Opiates are opiates. Natural or synthetic, blue or green. And opiate withdrawls are opiate withdrawls.
I believe that when YOU make the decision to want YOUrself back, that YOU inside the medicated you, has a real fight ahead. YOUR opponents are the medications and this devil the meRAB have created. That poor little YOU that has been buried for so long is wanting to live again. But, that devil wants his meRAB and he is using everything he can to make you suffer to get you to give in to him. He is your enemy. He takes you and keeps you where you don't want to be, through foolish promises of how good you can feel or how much he is helping your pain. BS!
My apologies for going into a rant.
I am still so pissed.
Physically, I feel good, really good.
Mentally, clear. Clearer.
Emotionally, level.
Spiritually, we are all together.
Blessings to all.
Sverige.....good luck and may all the strength you need be there for you when you need it. Do not give up. The reward is tremendous, I promise.
