my very first poem..:)?

H

hello:)

New member
is it good for a starter?

you make me cry
you make me smile

but at times i just wonder

do you truly love me,
or is this just a game to you?

i know not every relationship is easy
i just wish ours was different

you do show me you love me
in every way possible

but sometimes i your attitude
makes me doubt its true

i hope one day all this can change
and the tears go away

but i will sit here and wait
and keep loving you the same way

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hmmm? i dont know i gave it a try thanks:D
 
Take my opinion with a grain of salt the size of Mt Rushmore.

It's garbage but very sincere garbage. Keep writing garbage from the heart and it'll get more poetic in 10 or 20 years. Stop writing "garbage" and start becoming "stylized" and you will be very popular and never write a thing worth shyte.

So you are definitely on the right track, it's just a long road ahead.
 
Very soulful and meaningful. I totally understand the emotion that is conveyed in this prose. However, as a word of advice, when things are tearfully weak, that is your sign to exit the relationship. Don't hold onto a relationship of sorrow and anger, thus, it's incompetent of evolving into true love. Your infatuation is not worth suffering tribulation. But as for as the poem goes, nice work.
 
it's a great start!

( you make me cry, you make me smile.
sometimes i just wonder why?
do you truly love me?
is this just a game to you?

Knowing not every relationship is easy,
I just wish ours was different.

you do show me you love me
in ever possible way.

sometimes your additude
makes me doubt it's true.

Hopeful one day this will all change,
and make these tears go away

for now i will sit here and wait.
while i keep loving you the same way.)

does that sound any better to you?
either way it's from your heart and it's a great piece!
 
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