my pathetic existence

A

aznangelbaby408

New member
I dont fucking get it, why the fucking hell can't I be like a regular person and just fucking do something simple like a godfuckingdamn phone call without spending in the upwards of 2 hours trying to get myself to press send? Why do my parents insist on me doing 10 courses in this goddamn highschool and know that I'm failing all of them, but they won't let me atleast try to do decent in the minimum, I've already fucking told them over and over again that doing well in the minimum number of courses would look so much better than failing every single course the fucking school has to offer, and they won't even let me drop the one course that not even the teacher can understand the goddamn book or any of the subject material and she majored in this shit. do my parents want me to be a failure at life? Or are they really that fucking stupid, or could it be that they really never gave a fuck about my future.
Why aren't they listening to me, I have some money to finally get something like a car to mess with and then they tell me to get the tools first and they don't know it depends on the car to decide what tools I get(and I didn't know that at the time either cause guess what? i dont care about tools, just cars.) and they honestly think I want the goddamn Xterra, I've fucking told them over and over and over again, about 15 times atleast that I don't fucking want the Xterra, I wouldn't be able to afford gas or insurance or anything else on it for that matter, and they won't let me get a job during the school year, then how the fuck are they expecting me to spend money i dont have on all this shit theyre pretty much forcing onto me. WHY DOES GOD FUCKING HATE ME, WHY DOESNT HE JUST FUCKING SMITE ME NOW DAMMIT!
Why can't I do some normal shit for once, why am I so much of a chicken shit that I can't even make a goddamn phone call to anyone, even if I don't know them, or will never see or hear from them again, i still cant fucking do it. and ive run out of shit to break or smash, my parents won't take me to counceling, even when I fucking asked, all they did was put it off, and then my mom mentioned a counceler and I said ok but she never got around to it or some bullshit like that, now I'm just trying to scare the school enough that they'll require counceling so my parents can't put it off. And not even that is working.
 
that was...really hard to read, I suggest you use paragraphs. But I read it all. It sucks that your parents dont understand you, but I suggest you talk to the school about all the classes you're taking. As far as the car thing goes, just buy your own car. Its your own money.
 
God doesn't hate you. You hate you. Quit whining about your life and do something about it. You know, kids who complain about school because they are failing and ther parents make them go just annoy me. Do you know how many people would kill for the chance to get an education? Do you know how many children in the developed nations (US Canada, UK, ect..) are severely abused, homeless, hungry? I mean, if you are going to bitch about life, at least have a fucking reason to bitch. Stop being an emo punk and crying about how hard your life is. Try living on the streets for a few years, being hungry and cold and sleeping under bridges or in your best friends car. That'll teach you a little about life, of which you have a LOT to learn.
 
You sound a lot like my brother.

The only difference is you have food on your table and a roof over your head.

Well, he does now, too, but he didn't for about a year...
 
Yep.

He ran away from home to Vancouver. Just decided one day to leave cause of the tension between him and dad. Vancouver is 13 hours driving at 70 mph. He walked for 4 days before somebody picked him up...
 
It sounds like you lack confidence. Toughen up, face whatever issues are at hand, and don't blame "God" or anyone/thing else for your own problems. Accept responsibility.

Do you ever truely talk to your parents? Or is it just a quick conversation, forgotten 10 minutes later? Or is everything an arguement?

Improving communication can do wonders for any situation.
 
first, what makes you think that i, assuming i am human, actually care about anyone else at that given moment of total rage, sadness, lack of reason, ect. second i actually want to live like others do in bad situations so i can actually relate with what theyre complaining about, no joke, im really thinking about it, but that aside, another point i can make is considering how depressed i get(no i dont know why, there never is a reason i fall into this depression shit, the only reason i can think of is genetics cause my mom has depression issues too, and yes i am aware that i hate myself, and openly bitch about it, and no i cant shake the feeling that god hates me, whether he does or not). and do you ever stop to think that losers, emos, whatever in my situation actually give a damn about reason or other people? i usually don't when im like this, and no i dont believ it gives me an excuse for anything, besides, until my parents help me find some counseler, i need some vent to get useless sensless shit off of my shit cause it sure as hell isnt doing me any good under pressure.
I'm not really sorry if i come across as a total loser or an emo bitch, i probably am, i dont care, my stress is slightly relived for the moment so my mission is accomplished. i am sorry however for my shitty grammer and countless spelling errors, ill fix it once i find all the mistakes.



1. Unfortunatley, not on drugs, just generally a pussy or bitchey, take your pick.
2. I do think but the subject of thought falters often and I have issues getting it back on subject, my fault, no I don't care.
3. That's the one thing I am trying to fix.
4. If I stop bitching I could explode and kill myself, now that might not be a bad thing for you, it is for me, so no I cannot do the fourth item.
 
First, the feeling that god hates you is not depression, thats paranoia. And the onlything I think is that you are a middle class suburban white boy who has no fucking clue what the real world is like.

Don't go living on the streets to prove something. Thats almost as stupid as suicide.

Live your life, its a good life. Stop crying. Go to school. PASS. Go to college. PASS. Get a hottie and make fat babies.

But first, you have to want to make yourself better. YOU can go to your school counselor without your parents. Tell him you are suicidal and self destructive. Tell him what it is you WANT to do. Then you will get the help you need.


But you do come off as an emo bitch. Its fucking annoying.

PS: Before you ask, yes I did spend a few years on the streets and yes I was a drug addict. So I know a little bit about what Im talking about. Life is not perfect, you are not perfect. But you have to get off your fucking ass and try.

YOU ARE NOT TRYING!

And therefore I have no sympathy for you. Empathy perhaps, but sympathy no.
 
I know doing the responses like this is probably annoying, but oh well.
I do lack confidence, I'm not sure what the fuck to do to "toughen up," and I usually try to face some issues cause they get annoying if I don't, but I'm just really not sure how to face this one outside of counselling which I'm currently in the process of finding. And the blaming everyone else and/or "God" is unusual for me cause I like to blame myself alot, the motive behind blaming myself isn't pure nor will it ever be. And yes I do "truely" talk to my parents, quite a bit, and I forget portions of them after ten minutes but they don't seem to. And almost everything seems to be an arguement with my dad, we dont talk much, and he's usually gone on the road to keep food on the table and keep me in a house, as nice as that is, it doesn't really help the arguements. As for improving communication, I wish I knew how. Suggestions aren't welcomed but I can't stop them so feel free, I just wont read them.
 
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