My past prevents me from being intimate?

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I had a not so great childhood and was abused by many people. I'm in a relationship now, well sorta and I've come to realized that I'm really uncomfortable with being intimate. I've never told anyone and I don't want to talk with a psychiatrist, not like I could ever afford one, anyways. I don't feel like I could ever tell anyone (not even my partner).

I feel like if I dont ever get over it then I will never have a healthy relationship, but then again I feel like i'm lying to myself about it and its killing me inside. I think about it everyday.
 
I'm sorry about your past. Abuse is a horrible thing. There are places you can go to get help. You can ask your doctor about any counseling services, they usually know of a few and sometimes can point you in the right direction. Depending on the kind of abuse you can contact certain outreach programs. Maybe call the local children and family services? Ask them about any low cost/ free services in your community. Alot of times also area churches have programs and you don't have to be a member of that church or religion.
You really should seek counseling, because you may never get over these intimacy issues without it. And it could effect your relationships and self-esteem.
Good luck and keep your head up.
 
Unless you can either confide ion your partner a priest even a trusted friend its not going to change for you. You need to get past the root of your problem and move on if you don't then you will never have a healthy normal relationship.
 
You have two choices, but in both of them you need to speak it all out from yourself. There is no other way to make your life happy. You can speak either with a psychotherapist, or to your partner. The second one is the best, because as a part of your heart, your partner will understand you better and help you as much as s/he can. You need to speak, so people could help you.
 
Just tell the partner if they accept you then you're good and if not you need a new partner. I am sure he or she will understand.
 
I've never told anyone and I don't want to talk with a psychiatrist, not like I could ever afford one, anyways.
>> IMO, a psych. may not do you any good anyway. Look around for a cheap or free support group such as Codependents anonymous or Adult children of alcoholics, etc. The interesting thing about a support group is that it's good to have others backing you up and helping you with this since they have gone through the same sh*t and can offer productive insights and mostly SUPPORT & encouragement. Many psychs can not and do not do that!


I don't feel like I could ever tell anyone (not even my partner).
>> When you see and hear others talking about it in a group, you will feel less intimidated about your background. Then, as you get relaxed about telling your story, you can tell your partner too.

I feel like if I dont ever get over it then I will never have a healthy relationship,
>> Yes, absolutely. IMO, you can never have a good relationship so long as your past is wrecking your current life.


but then again I feel like i'm lying to myself about it and its killing me inside. I think about it everyday.
>> Get involved with a group and set your self free of that horrible past! Lots of us have found peace and freedom with the support of fellow victims who helped us come up out to the SEWER of past abuse and damages. It's cheap, easy and very beneficial, IMO and experience.
good luck
 
you shouldn't be in a relationship until you get your self together.. he shouldn't have to play therapist.. that's selfish of you
 
you shouldn't be in a relationship until you get your self together.. he shouldn't have to play therapist.. that's selfish of you
 
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