My parents always run my life - can I ever break this cycle?

A

Annie

New member
I am 43 years old and was sexually abused as a child and the torment has continued through adult into verbal abuse. I love my parents even though I can do nothing right in their eyes. I am currently going through a divorce as my husband had an affair, but instead of standing by me they blame me for him going off with someone else and said I will never find anyone daft enough to take me and my boys on.

A year ago I stupidly asked my dad to look after £10,000 for me as I didn't want my ex getting hold of it. I now want it back as I need to buy a new car. He said basically if I don't buy a brand new reliable car, he wants nothing more to do with me. But I don't want to spend all my savings on a car. I have 2 young children to bring up and need this money for emergencies. I need to be strong and get this money back off him but I am so scared. I feel like I am being controlled all the time. Any advice please. I did go for counselling but didn't help.
 
If he doesn't give you the money, then sue him for it. Then cut your parents out of your life. Don't return their calls, don't visit. They are toxic.
 
43 years of that shit? counseling fails when we refuse to accept or use the tools given to us, aka we dont want to change things. This will go on until they both pass until you want it to change. I am not a counseling advocate, but you seem like you are looking for an answer you wanna hear that will require the least amount of boat rocking, and that doesn't exist. You had to have known there would be issues getting your cash back, I mean come on. My advice is grin, bear it and wait it out, unless you wanna deal with the stress and crap you will go through to change it.
 
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