Guy in©ogn!to
New member
Here's my story.
It all started when I was 4 years old. My twin sister was diagnosed with severe autism. My dad pretty much gave up on our family after that. He started getting into gambling, drinking and strip clubs. Mom found out and she dumped him. After that my next few years were ok...I suppose.
Once I turned 8 the major hell began. It all happend one thing after another. First kids at school really started picking on me hardcore. They never left me alone because I had big glasses at the time and it really hurt but, then my sister was found locked up at school, note that she can't talk or anything...she only knows how to be violent...I know it's weird but, it's true.
So then mom started fighting the entire school board and the government. School was hell after that, the teachers gave me a hard time just because mom was fighting for my sister. Soon after all this school had ended for summer, I was safe for atleats 2 months.
So after that I woke up one morning and would never know just how much my life was gonna change. I met my so to be stepdad. This man...has abused me for years and years. He has thrown me around, hit me, broke bones...literally has looked down upon me because I'm not his. He thinks anything I say is trash and his word is law...I hate him so much...the beatings I could handle, sorta but, just that fact he looks down upon me as an inferior because I'm younger...I hate it...
so, about a month later Dad took Mom to court and was granted visitation, sorta...I used to go to my grandma's house for the weekend and he'd be there...and then that's when he started, he started molesting me (Back then I didn't know jack so I didn't really know how to handle it) and then that turned into rape, yes my own father raped me for 4 years until I stoped seeing him at age 12. I think he stoped because he realized I was getting smarter. So basicly during the week I got beat up and on the weekend I got raped and at school it wasn't much different.
So after I was 13 and in Junior High, it was just beatings...Dad was out for the picture. I never told anyone what he did because well...it's hard to talk about...I don't think many people would believe me.
During all this time BTW I have 3 sisters, ages 36, 33, 32...One is a chronic alcoholic who's always in the detox center and has seen people literally cut there veins open and try to shove pills in them because of addiction. she woke up 500 miles away from home in a barn once because she got drunk and was drugged and raped.
One of my sisters is fairly normal, thank god but, my last one has been raped 17 times, been in EVERY abusive situation you can think of and is $50,000 in debt. I grew up watching them cry, suffer and do such horrible things. I learned alot.
So I put up with crap for years until I hit 15, grade 9. Yup. My first incounter with love. (You must all be like oh geez, w/e) I liked a new girl at our school ALOT but, I was so afraid to ask her out then rumors circulated that she liked me so I went and did the only thing I knew, I went and tried to make myself "Boyfriend Material".
I took odd jobs and improved my looks, got contacts and everything. So it was end of the year and I had saved up $2300 which was fairly decent for my age, I was planning on using it as date money and then I went and asked her out. She started laughing and said "HAHAHA! No!" and I asked her about the rumors, turns out EVERYONE in class was in on them and they were leading me on the whole year. She told me to just go die and that I was worthless...so...tha t put me back awhile..
then comes Dad, he struts back into my life, starts giving me hoardes of money, litertally TONS, like $700 a day, it was insane, so I started hanging with him alot, obviously...foudn out later on he was making that money on drugs...so then I was invited to a party of his, he drugged me and tried to sell me to 19 year old college girls who wanted to "use me".
I ended up getting a high fever of 104.9 from the drugs so I had to go to the hospital, then Dad left my lfie again...next was Grade 10. She was in ALL my classes...I couldn't take it so I stopped going to school. So then I tried to go at it again this next year, it was halloween night...mom was gone out of town with my autistic sister for the week to get her help because she was getting way to violent in the house. I was alone and then my stepdad locked me in mom's room, threw me around, beat me up and left...I was scared and alone...for the first time in years I cried, I even cried myself to sleep, after that I felt alone...I wanted someone, anyone to achknowledge me.
So then I saw a girl, she looked sad like me, why not? I asked her out...well...it took awhile but, we started going out. She seemed like the sweetest girl ever until...one day she got mad at me and kicked me in the balls and them stomped them, really hard...I started bleeding and by then I had to go home, curfew and such. She sent me home by myself...bleeding from my balls...it was swelling and it hurt so much, so then when I got home I had to wait two hours for my mom to get home...I was leaving a trial of blood wherever I went, so then she got an ambulance and I had to have doctors...you know...yeah...they gave me meds and I had to be careful for awhile. But, you know what gets me? I stayed with her? Why? Because she said she loved me, My mom ignored me my whole life and lied about my stepdad beating me, my dad is a rapist drug dealing prick and I had no friends...so, she was the first to achknowledge me.
I'm 17 by now BTW.So her mom started starving her, like...not giving her food or letting her leave the house...her family was more fucked up then mine...I started bringing her food, everything. I bought her jewelery, food, clothes...whatever she wanted and needed. I got it for her, even if I had to sell stuff, I did it just for her.
So then she comes to me one day and says her mom beat her I did the the only natural thing I went to the cops and I got her help. I got her a peace bond. After that she went "couch surfing" for awhile and I tried to find her a place to stay and then she found her own place. It was in the worst street in town for drugs, raped and violence but, at the time I didn't know that...so then I moved in with her because she asked me to so she wouldn't be alone, I did because I loved her so then after that it was hell...drugs, parties and everything...no one there had a life at all...they were just horrible...living for the next toke.
(BTW, the reason she couldn't stay at my house is because my mom is a GINORMOUS bitch). She was also being abusive, hitting me all the time and putting me down but, she always had an excuse and she claimed to have loved me...so I kept going, thinking she was my future.
After 2 months we got kicked out because SHE wasn't doing her chores. So then I snuck her into my house for 2 weeks. That bought me time to go to the government and appeal her case, I got her a free apartment because of her situation. After that it went well for awhile. One morning I decided I'd surprise her with white roses and a teddy bear, I walked in her room to find her riding a 21 year old homeless guy, she was cheating on me, after I literally kept her alive...she used me...hardcore...afte r that I tried to kill myself several times, I know...I was stupid...she reallyt wasn't worth it...but, I didn't know that...
so then a guy who I thought was my friend got me into booze and weed, I figured it'd take the pain away but, I was wrong...it just kept putting me into bad places. So one day my stepdad beat me and I got tired of it and finally...after 9 years I beat the crap outta him. My mom flipped and called the cops and I got thrown in jail for 2 weeks. After that I got out and now I have probation, because I defended myself. Some family. recently the same friend who got me into the booze and weed, which I quit (Well, I only did it for a month so, I guess it's better I learned how bad it was) gave me a convo talking to my EX, it had ALL the truths...all the lies...after that I just didn't care anymore...
but, still...even now...I feel completely alone...I feel like I have no one who achknowledges me for who I really am. Today, my best friend just betrayed me and is trying to get me beat up...I hate it...I don't know what to do anymore...I really don't. It seems like everytime I try to get by in life someone stops me...I'm 17, still in grade 10...I got no family or friend support...my future seems like it's going nowhere...I hate it...I really do.
I wanna just curl and die sometimes but, for some odd reason I can't give up? Why? I guess I have a hope I'll meet someone someday who cares. I've made a habit of trying to help people, ironicly because of all the things I've dealt with I'm good at solving problems, for other people anyway and I'm sensative to other's feelings...everyone always tells me I'm too emotional for a guy, haha. I feel really inferior...I gave up my life for a girl to have it rejected. I never backstab people yet I get backstabed all the time and my family ignores me and puts me down.
The reason I'm posting this...I dunno. I guess if people see how fucked up my life is at such a young age of 17 they might feel better about themselves. I don't know...you can all think what you want about all this but...I guess I just needed to tell someome. Because...no one else will listen. This is only the SHORT condenced version BTW. There are other things that...are just hard to get into...
Well...that's about it...thanks for your time.
Edited by CopyLifted:
Thanks
pl0x for putting this in an easier to read format.
Learn from this Kazezou. If I would have seen this the day you posted it, it wouldn't have made it this long.
It all started when I was 4 years old. My twin sister was diagnosed with severe autism. My dad pretty much gave up on our family after that. He started getting into gambling, drinking and strip clubs. Mom found out and she dumped him. After that my next few years were ok...I suppose.
Once I turned 8 the major hell began. It all happend one thing after another. First kids at school really started picking on me hardcore. They never left me alone because I had big glasses at the time and it really hurt but, then my sister was found locked up at school, note that she can't talk or anything...she only knows how to be violent...I know it's weird but, it's true.
So then mom started fighting the entire school board and the government. School was hell after that, the teachers gave me a hard time just because mom was fighting for my sister. Soon after all this school had ended for summer, I was safe for atleats 2 months.
So after that I woke up one morning and would never know just how much my life was gonna change. I met my so to be stepdad. This man...has abused me for years and years. He has thrown me around, hit me, broke bones...literally has looked down upon me because I'm not his. He thinks anything I say is trash and his word is law...I hate him so much...the beatings I could handle, sorta but, just that fact he looks down upon me as an inferior because I'm younger...I hate it...
so, about a month later Dad took Mom to court and was granted visitation, sorta...I used to go to my grandma's house for the weekend and he'd be there...and then that's when he started, he started molesting me (Back then I didn't know jack so I didn't really know how to handle it) and then that turned into rape, yes my own father raped me for 4 years until I stoped seeing him at age 12. I think he stoped because he realized I was getting smarter. So basicly during the week I got beat up and on the weekend I got raped and at school it wasn't much different.
So after I was 13 and in Junior High, it was just beatings...Dad was out for the picture. I never told anyone what he did because well...it's hard to talk about...I don't think many people would believe me.
During all this time BTW I have 3 sisters, ages 36, 33, 32...One is a chronic alcoholic who's always in the detox center and has seen people literally cut there veins open and try to shove pills in them because of addiction. she woke up 500 miles away from home in a barn once because she got drunk and was drugged and raped.
One of my sisters is fairly normal, thank god but, my last one has been raped 17 times, been in EVERY abusive situation you can think of and is $50,000 in debt. I grew up watching them cry, suffer and do such horrible things. I learned alot.
So I put up with crap for years until I hit 15, grade 9. Yup. My first incounter with love. (You must all be like oh geez, w/e) I liked a new girl at our school ALOT but, I was so afraid to ask her out then rumors circulated that she liked me so I went and did the only thing I knew, I went and tried to make myself "Boyfriend Material".
I took odd jobs and improved my looks, got contacts and everything. So it was end of the year and I had saved up $2300 which was fairly decent for my age, I was planning on using it as date money and then I went and asked her out. She started laughing and said "HAHAHA! No!" and I asked her about the rumors, turns out EVERYONE in class was in on them and they were leading me on the whole year. She told me to just go die and that I was worthless...so...tha t put me back awhile..
then comes Dad, he struts back into my life, starts giving me hoardes of money, litertally TONS, like $700 a day, it was insane, so I started hanging with him alot, obviously...foudn out later on he was making that money on drugs...so then I was invited to a party of his, he drugged me and tried to sell me to 19 year old college girls who wanted to "use me".
I ended up getting a high fever of 104.9 from the drugs so I had to go to the hospital, then Dad left my lfie again...next was Grade 10. She was in ALL my classes...I couldn't take it so I stopped going to school. So then I tried to go at it again this next year, it was halloween night...mom was gone out of town with my autistic sister for the week to get her help because she was getting way to violent in the house. I was alone and then my stepdad locked me in mom's room, threw me around, beat me up and left...I was scared and alone...for the first time in years I cried, I even cried myself to sleep, after that I felt alone...I wanted someone, anyone to achknowledge me.
So then I saw a girl, she looked sad like me, why not? I asked her out...well...it took awhile but, we started going out. She seemed like the sweetest girl ever until...one day she got mad at me and kicked me in the balls and them stomped them, really hard...I started bleeding and by then I had to go home, curfew and such. She sent me home by myself...bleeding from my balls...it was swelling and it hurt so much, so then when I got home I had to wait two hours for my mom to get home...I was leaving a trial of blood wherever I went, so then she got an ambulance and I had to have doctors...you know...yeah...they gave me meds and I had to be careful for awhile. But, you know what gets me? I stayed with her? Why? Because she said she loved me, My mom ignored me my whole life and lied about my stepdad beating me, my dad is a rapist drug dealing prick and I had no friends...so, she was the first to achknowledge me.
I'm 17 by now BTW.So her mom started starving her, like...not giving her food or letting her leave the house...her family was more fucked up then mine...I started bringing her food, everything. I bought her jewelery, food, clothes...whatever she wanted and needed. I got it for her, even if I had to sell stuff, I did it just for her.
So then she comes to me one day and says her mom beat her I did the the only natural thing I went to the cops and I got her help. I got her a peace bond. After that she went "couch surfing" for awhile and I tried to find her a place to stay and then she found her own place. It was in the worst street in town for drugs, raped and violence but, at the time I didn't know that...so then I moved in with her because she asked me to so she wouldn't be alone, I did because I loved her so then after that it was hell...drugs, parties and everything...no one there had a life at all...they were just horrible...living for the next toke.
(BTW, the reason she couldn't stay at my house is because my mom is a GINORMOUS bitch). She was also being abusive, hitting me all the time and putting me down but, she always had an excuse and she claimed to have loved me...so I kept going, thinking she was my future.
After 2 months we got kicked out because SHE wasn't doing her chores. So then I snuck her into my house for 2 weeks. That bought me time to go to the government and appeal her case, I got her a free apartment because of her situation. After that it went well for awhile. One morning I decided I'd surprise her with white roses and a teddy bear, I walked in her room to find her riding a 21 year old homeless guy, she was cheating on me, after I literally kept her alive...she used me...hardcore...afte r that I tried to kill myself several times, I know...I was stupid...she reallyt wasn't worth it...but, I didn't know that...
so then a guy who I thought was my friend got me into booze and weed, I figured it'd take the pain away but, I was wrong...it just kept putting me into bad places. So one day my stepdad beat me and I got tired of it and finally...after 9 years I beat the crap outta him. My mom flipped and called the cops and I got thrown in jail for 2 weeks. After that I got out and now I have probation, because I defended myself. Some family. recently the same friend who got me into the booze and weed, which I quit (Well, I only did it for a month so, I guess it's better I learned how bad it was) gave me a convo talking to my EX, it had ALL the truths...all the lies...after that I just didn't care anymore...
but, still...even now...I feel completely alone...I feel like I have no one who achknowledges me for who I really am. Today, my best friend just betrayed me and is trying to get me beat up...I hate it...I don't know what to do anymore...I really don't. It seems like everytime I try to get by in life someone stops me...I'm 17, still in grade 10...I got no family or friend support...my future seems like it's going nowhere...I hate it...I really do.
I wanna just curl and die sometimes but, for some odd reason I can't give up? Why? I guess I have a hope I'll meet someone someday who cares. I've made a habit of trying to help people, ironicly because of all the things I've dealt with I'm good at solving problems, for other people anyway and I'm sensative to other's feelings...everyone always tells me I'm too emotional for a guy, haha. I feel really inferior...I gave up my life for a girl to have it rejected. I never backstab people yet I get backstabed all the time and my family ignores me and puts me down.
The reason I'm posting this...I dunno. I guess if people see how fucked up my life is at such a young age of 17 they might feel better about themselves. I don't know...you can all think what you want about all this but...I guess I just needed to tell someome. Because...no one else will listen. This is only the SHORT condenced version BTW. There are other things that...are just hard to get into...
Well...that's about it...thanks for your time.
Edited by CopyLifted:
Thanks
pl0x for putting this in an easier to read format.Learn from this Kazezou. If I would have seen this the day you posted it, it wouldn't have made it this long.
