My husband won't have sex with me...is there something wrong? Serious responses only!?

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3boysmom

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Married for almost 15 years, and the sex life has never been great, but has graduely gotten worse over the years. He is 45 I am 39, we have only had sex about 4 or 5 times this year. I am in good shape, 115 lbs.; but I can't help but think something is wrong with me. When I ask he says he is just tired. 4 out of the 5 times I initiated. I need some serious advice please!! What is the avg. amount of sex a long time married couple has??
 
This is being honest...He may be having an affair. You have to start looking into where he's spending his free time and if he's spending time away from home...you need to know where he's at. He's still very young to not want to have sex. Please look at his cell phone and all and any information you can get your hands one.....he's obviously getting it somewhere. I hope you get this resolved quickly.
 
Well, I'm only 26 but most of the older people I know, still have active sex lives after their 40s but that might be above the norm. I know a lot of people tell me that women have low sex drives when their younger, then as they get older, their sex drive goes up. The opposite with a man. I sorta believe that, because I have a very high sex drive although I haven't been active in about 5 months give or take. But my best advice to you would be to talk it out with your husband, maybe see if there are any underlying problems, talk to a counselor, etc. before you take any drastic actions. If all else fails, go to couples therapy or see a doctor to discuss what's going on, what's making your husband tired, etc. I hope it help and hope things get better for you.

Btw, I have a question that's open for answering, would you mind taking a look at it? I could really use a woman's perspective. Thanks also.
 
This is a common question and issue in marriage, particularly when there are children in the house. I would first examine the closeness of the relationship and "connection" between you to see if any improvement might be made in that area. If either of you or both of you work outside the home, fatigue and stress can most definately reduce libido as well. In many cases work stresses, marital issues, and financial stresses have the most negative impact on sex drive.
In the event there are no financial problems, marital discord, or fatigue problems, it could be that your husband has a low testosterone issue. This can be checked by his doctor, and remedied rather easily as well. You sound like an attractive woman. People do get in ruts, and marriage-intimacy takes work. I know it must be difficult not to take your husbands reduced interest in sex personally. It is natural to feel that way. I'll bet there are other very practical reasons behind it, not necessarily pertaining to you. I hope this helps, and you have much happiness.
 
My wife and I have had good years, bad years, "dry" months, and GREAT years. LIfe has its ups and downs.

If both of you are satisfied, there is no problem. Obviously, you don't feel "normal" and frequency of sex is as varied as there are couples. When our children were young, once a week was a treat!

Now that they are older, once every day or two is average.

4 to 5 times per year is at the very bottom of the scale (unless you are both happy with it). I would suggest the sources below.
 
Yes, there is something wrong. You already know it.

Please sit down with him, tell him you love him, and go for counseling. You'r marriage is the poster child for it.

Seriously, good luck.
 
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