My husband has been abusive in any way imaginable, but the weirdest thing is...

A

Amanda

New member
...forcing me to cry. I need advice!? I have a newborn baby and we have only been married for six months but together for 2 years. His behavior was always there but became extremely bad right after we got married and continued when i was pregnant. He told me that if I left he would kill himself but i managed to leave with the baby in the middle of the night. Now i feel guilty for leaving not for myself but for my daughter. Does anyone have any advice?
 
dont let that get to you my first marrage was the same way if he says hes going to kill himself then just walk away hes treating you terrable and you need to get you and your daugter out of there you have a baby to worrie about now dont play his games he wont do it hes just saying that to get you to stay so hes in controll even if leaving for a while makes him relize your seriouse he need to stop it not ok
 
It may be dangerous to be around him so staying away is fine. You and your childs immediate danger is important...but he may have more then just a bad personality. Me may be having serious problems and if he is your husband....then these are your problems as well. Stay clear if need be but try to get him help. There maybe some medical issue that can be fixed with therapy and medication. This can be a sickness. Remember sickness and health doesn't mean just taking care of a cold. I have a friend and her husband was uncontrollable.....when he finally got help and was diagnosed with bi-polar, they put him on medications and he goes to theorpy. He is a wonderful husband and a great father. Thanks to his wife being strong and getting him help...she saved him. They are still married and have a great marriage. Try help first..things can change for the better.
 
You left him so do not feel bad. It would not have been healthy for your daughter to grow up in that situation. Be thankful you left. People who threaten to hurt themselves because of your behavior are manipulative and mean. Thank goodness you left him. Get a divorce.
 
You did the right thing by leaving. And most of the time when they say they'll kill themselves if you leave them, it's just a threat. If you don't leave he'll eventually kill either you, your daughter, or the two of you and then kill himself. Read the newspaper. It happens all the time these days. Cut your losses while you can. It will only get worse. Get rid of the guilt and quick! Guilt is what keeps women in abusive marriages.
 
You should feel proud & relieved for having the guts to keep her safe. Your child is FAR better off without witnessing her father's abuse...and possibly being abused herself.

You did the RIGHT thing, now go the rest of the way and get a divorce started.
 
look, the mere fact that you feel guilt over leaving him means that you have a conscience and by the way that you describe your husband it seems to me that he doesnt.

dont think of yourself as selfish you did the right thing if what you're saying about your husband is true that is. there are times when people need to save themselves instead of a relationship, but dont think that your being selfish, your just being reasonable.
 
Getting out now is the best choice you have made especially for your daughter. Your husband needs professional help. He will not change if you enable him to continue abusing you by coming back to him. Sure children need their fathers however, staying in a relationship that is dangerous for you will eventually be a threat for her too. He has already put her in danger by causing you undue stress during your pregnancy. Stay strong and stick by your decision. If you believe he is capable of hurting himself you should call the crisis line to try and get him some help. Besides that you and your daughter are your number one concern now. These first few months are going to be crucial so enlist the help of friends and family and stay strong.
 
Getting out now is the best choice you have made especially for your daughter. Your husband needs professional help. He will not change if you enable him to continue abusing you by coming back to him. Sure children need their fathers however, staying in a relationship that is dangerous for you will eventually be a threat for her too. He has already put her in danger by causing you undue stress during your pregnancy. Stay strong and stick by your decision. If you believe he is capable of hurting himself you should call the crisis line to try and get him some help. Besides that you and your daughter are your number one concern now. These first few months are going to be crucial so enlist the help of friends and family and stay strong.
 
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