My husband cheated on me and now he wants to swing with another couple?

[rochelle86]

My husband and I have been married for 3 years we have a 2 year old daughter who is my life. anyways.. he cheated on me in April 2009 and i am still not fully over that. i lost all trust with him but i wanted to works things out because i love him. i thought we were doing a good job at working things out i was trying to built trust then recently he invited another couple were friends with over to our home and they wanted to play strip poker. me the naive person that i am thought o this will be funny i will go put on some shoes,coat, and a hat thinking we really weren't going to play it for real. but i was wrong. I quit the game when i realized that everyone else was playing it and was serious about it. then they stopped playing finally and this couple and my husband were "doing things" together. i didn't know what to say i was speechless and the other husband was telling me to take off my clothes! i told him that i didn't want to and i didn't. my husband just asked me if it was okay and i didn't know what to say no words were coming out of my mouth. but he kept doing things with the couple when he knew that i was uncomfortable with it. finally the couple left and i went straight to bed the next day i told him that he made me feel horrible and that i was extremely uncomfortable and that i don't know if i can stay in this marriage. He told me that him and the other guy planned this all out that we should all swing together. I don't know why he didn't feel the need to ask me before if i was okay with it.

My husband is a great father and my best friend but i don't know if i can be in a marriage that is like this. I don't want this kind of life style. how do i know if he is not going to do this again to me? he says he loves me and he wants to be with me and that it won't ever happen again. he says he doesn't want to lose me but, i forgave him once and now this. any advice?

 

[Alistair]

If he truly respected you, he would have asked you about swinging BEFORE dumping you into that situation. His actions reflect his desire to be with other women, and that is not fair to you. It would be different if you were also into those kind of things, but you are obviously not. Don't sink to his level. You should get out and find someone who loves you and respects you.