My Husband 20 months later

[sskab5]

My husband had a 360 / 3 level lurabar fusion with instrumentation in January of 08. His levels fused were l3-l4, l4-l5, l5-s1 due to severe spondylolisthesis. Prior to this surgery he had 2 surgeries Aug of 05 and March of 07 to repair herniated discs. His hardware has not been removed yet and he last visited his surgeon in June of this year. According to his doctor the fusion is coming along just great and he recommended removing the hardware along with the bone stimultor that was implanted at the time of surgery sometime in Jan of 2010. In the meantime my husband still experiences alot of lower back pain and although he had nerve pain in his legs prior to surgery the pain there now is almost back to the point of pre-surgery. Most nights he gets out of bed to go to his recliner because the pain he has keeps him awake and he is just too uncomfortable laying down. He takes tramadol and soma for pain and muscle relaxing but neither seems to help much. He has always been a very active man and always seemed to work through his pain. He can no longer do that and it is taking a toll on him physically and mentally. He knows that no matter what he does physically one day that the next day he will be in alot of pain and hardly able to walk. We have been married 36 years and I am at a loss as to what to do to help him through this. He is a very proud man and does not ask for help from me or our grown sons. Any help and suggestion would be greatly appreciated.

 

[marshrose]

is he on lycria or neurontin to help block the nerve pains? that would help, as well as seeing the dr again as there are also antidepressants they put back surgery patients on (cant rem off the top of my head the name) for helping w pain and or nerve pain and that also would help with the depression. Something to look into, even if you just TELL him its to help treat pain, and kill 2 birRAB with one stone. Depression doesn't help the pain either, nor does pain help the depression. Gotta nip one in the but.

 

[Bionic]

I too, had a spinal fusion (L2-S1) about 7 months ago. It was so important for me to have a supportive husband & mom during my surgery. They both helped out so much, not just physically, but also psychologically. I was in so much pain & so unable to handle things. They both have kept me going. And its' an ongoing journey.

If my spouse were in my place, I would go to all doctors' visits with him & interact with his doctor, physical therapist, etc. & know that he is probably so frustrated with what he is going through, that it may take everything he's got to just hold it together some days. As I'm sure you know, a lot of things that were once taken for granted are just not going to be happening right now. I would let him know that I was there for him when he neeRAB to talk & try to support him in any way that I could. Sometimes that may be giving him some space to deal with things in his head.

It can be so hard to go through recovery from a major surgery & having someone on your side is really important. Sometimes talking with others that have gone through similar issues can help. I hope that every day is better for you both. Best wishes to you & your husband!

 

[SpineAZ]

I've been married 8 years and have had significant spinal issues for about the last 5 years but they've become very bad in the last 6 months (went out of work in May and still out due to pain that isn't being helped much by pain meRAB, etc). I too often get up at night to either rest in a another room or sometimes kind of wander the house. It is very tough mentally and physically - and a large part of it is not being able to get decent restorative sleep.

Has he sought out any support? I actually get a lot of support and validation here on the healtrabroadoarRAB. It's tough when those around you in life are not going through the same thing. See what you can do to make him know that "it's okay" - that you understand he may need to sleep elsewhere, etc, and that you totally understand there are good days and bad days. I think somehow my husband gets that....I just have to tell him when it's bad and he knows my style...that I just want him to back off (I'm the kind that when I'm in the hospital I want no visitors and no attention, so he knows to go his own way at times when my symptoms are very bad).