My head is broken...

M

misty c

New member
Let me start by saying, I am not crazy... I don't ever have "episodes" where I can't rationalize my actions, but last night that changed.

Over memorial day weekend, I took an additional two days off. The Friday before, and the Tuesday following. It was great!!! My husband and I played guitar hero, online games, held down the furniture, and generally had a great time relaxing. My return to work Wednesday was not as bad as I had expected, and went fairly well.

So what happened to me Thursday??? I get home from work, tidy up a bit, and sit down on the couch to watch some tv, and all seems well. After my husband got home, we decide to make some dinner, and head into the kitchen. All normal happy shit so far, right?

So before I can even get finished with cleaning up the dishes in the sink (I needed a pan that was dirty to cook dinner) I fucking snap... I start to yell, scream, cry and throw the dishes from the sink all over the damn kitchen. My poor husband is in shock, and I wouldn't let him touch me or anything. I actually told him that I wanted to hit something living, and if he didn't get the hell out of my way, it would be him.

I left the house in my PJ's, turned off my cell phone and stayed out for almost two hours just bawling, letting my husband just sit at home pondering what the fuck just happened. When I got home, I started crying just looking at him, and wouldn't let him tuck me in to bed like he always does. I put Pink Floyd in the cd player and tried to sleep through my tears....

This morning my husband was great, kind, and sweet, but all I could do was cry when I looked at him and the breakfast he made me. I get into work, see that my recycle hasn't been taken out for the 4th day in a row, and lose it all over agian...

It's not PMS, it's not that time... I'm not pregnant, and I don't have a history of ever snapping like this in the past...

my poor husband! He needs your help, and so do I.

:confused::confused::confused::confused:
 
;771779']My ex did that...a lot.

It's hard for a man to deal with that, because we can't lash back. We just have to shut up and nod our heads.

As the ones before said, talk to a therapist- even better- a male therapist. Get the idea of what the other gender thinks. Men aren't as dumb as women think, we're just a lot less complicated. All I suggest for him to do is back away and go get ice cream- chocolate chip cookie dough.
 
The thing is, your ex was a psychotic bitch.

Shamiaqua, I would talk to a therapist, really. There's not much that can be said from people that don't have a PhD in psychology. Maybe there's an underlying problem, maybe there isn't. I have had times where my emotions have gotten the better of me, but I have never gotten violent.

Seek help, and I hope all gets well.
 
I would go and see your GP, it could be depression, you dont necessarily have to be having a shitty time to get depressed and depression doesnt just mean curling up into a ball, you can also react the way you did, I should know. But depression is only a suggestion. No one on this site is qualified to advise you.
 
I agree with both of these people. You may have had a panic attack. A fairly severe one too. Could be a bit of anxiety that you had built up and lashed out.

All the comments about going to see a psychologist/psychiatrist are by no means anything suggesting you are crazy, but they are there to help clear up strange and or irrational behaviors like the one you described. It may help you understand why you did something. You can bring your husband too if you think it will help. He might offer you support during your discussions, and his being there might even allow him to clear up some things or even fill in the blanks that you might not have seen or known about. I strongly recommend it. These professionals are trained to listen and guide you (they don't fix you) down a path that you feel comfortable in. A psychiatrist can prescribe you medicine to help calm you if you or the doctor feels it necessary. A psychologist can only make suggestions. They can't prescribe you anything but may suggest you see a psychiatrist if they feel you need the extra help.

I've been to both, though my trouble were focus, I did see one psychiatrist and he was very helpful but I needed someone to talk to more than prescribe. One other psychiatrist I didn't like at all. She was just guessing at my problems and didn't get to know me really so I moved on to someone else. When I found someone I felt could help me the way I needed, I stayed with them. You can do the same. If you decide to look for someone to talk to, remember you are allowed to pick and choose the ones you talk to. It's your life you are spilling out to someone. No sense in discussing it with someone that you don't feel is really helping you, but also remember it's never fun to just discuss your private life with someone you don't know. Offer some trust, but do what you feel is best for you.
 
I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who posted.

My husband's mother (who's a psycotherapist) called me the day after and we talked forever about things. At one point I told her I had to go cause my cell phone battery was dying, and she said "plug that thing in hun, cause I'm not done with you yet"

After an hour and a half, she gave me a number for some people that she knows, and I'm well on my way to getting some professional opinons about my "episode".

Thank you all for your input and support.
 
I hope this helps you. It's so hard to not know what's going on with yourself. At least I hope you find what happened. It's the first step to healing!

Good luck! and I hope you are feeling better soon! :hug2:
 
since i DO have a Ph.D. in psychology i'll throw my two cents in here.

first off, you probably didn't have a panic attack. the symptoms that you describe are not typical for a panic attack. more likely something triggered the response (some stimuli, whether it was something that was said, an object, or a situation). the stimuli is not known to you, and as such the response is not understood either.

secondly, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GO TO A GENERAL PRACTITIONER FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP. i cannot stress that enough to the general public. your internist is not qualified to diagnose psychological disorders, and will simply give you medication based on what you "think" you have. self-diagnosis + ignorant medical professionals = heavily medicated general public that's not helping anyone other than the insurance and pharmaceutical companies.

i agree that it would be in your best interest to seek help if this trend continues, as something is obviously being repressed and causing these behaviors. it doesn't matter if it's a male or female therapist, as your response seems to not be limited to only your husband, so there's no "gender bias" probably going on here.
 
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