Hrm.... I don't think you can do it without debugging enabled. That step is included as it's part of the instructions to get ADB to connect to the phone. When debugging is enabled and you connect the phone to your computer, instead of it showing up as a new drive (your SD card), the USB driver that is installed with the SDK takes over and it allows programs like ADB to connect to the phone. If the USB driver isn't installed, you get the new hardware wizard and it asks for the drivers.
The "device not found" error is because ADB can't find your phone, and yes, you're correct, it's probably because the hardware wizard didn't appear and that the phone isn't in debug mode. I don't know of any way around this - sorry
The fact you got SQLITE to run is actually not the good news it could have been. What you're seeing there is SQLITE running on your computer, not the phone, and that's why it couldn't open the database because that database only exists on your phone.
What you're seeing here, is ADB not connecting to your phone, so the commands you entered after that we being sent to the CMD window, not the phone through ADB.
I do have some other thoughts though...
1) When you log in, I'm sure it's
[email protected]. This, at least, works for me when I deliberately enter the wrong pattern too many times.
2) The phone MAY ignore all username and passwords, even if they're correct, for a while if you enter the wrong one too many times. This is a commonly used elsewhere in the industry to prevent "brute force" attacks on usernames and passwords. So try leaving it an hour and logging in with your full gmail email address and password. Don't try it too many times... just once, being 100% careful to type everything correctly.
3) Create a new gmail account, and try logging into your phone with that.
4) Never tried this - but what happens if you boot the phone in "Safe Mode"? You do this by keeping the Menu button held down when you power on the phone. It's just a long shot, but maybe you can get back into your phone with this and/or turn on debugging, and/or enter a new account.