My father is alcoholic and has cancer.. Still drinks

  • Thread starter Thread starter ReD4Life
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Guys.. Just to let you know that my father passed away today. The last time i saw him was three weeks ago. I really feel bad that i couldn't see him one last time. I also feel bad for turning him down the last time i saw him. You can't imagine how bad i feel. We never had a good relationship but it will be weird not having him around. I'm trying to think that at least he'll no longer suffer.

Thank you all for your support.
 
Thank you Secrets1983. I keep reminding myself that this is better for him. I really felt bad after saying no. I could clearly see his disappointment.
 
I'm so sorry. I hope you can reconcile all these feeling you have.
You did the best you could do under the circumstances.
You were more a daughter to your dad than he was a father to you.
Take peace in knowing that you did all you could. Your dad is at peace now and pain free
 
i think its good that your getting it out, just stop complacateing things, worry about yourself , its what we call keeping it simple:)keep trying
 
Heya Olin

Just thinking about you and wondering how all is going. I hope you are well.

reach
 
Sorry, I wasn't able to reply. I was out of city on holiday and didn't have access to the internet. I appreciate all the replies. You gave me strenght to do the right thing.

My father didn't call me whole week because he knew i was away. He will probably call me or show up at my work tomorrow and ask for more money. I don't want to turn him down completely if he really neeRAB meRAB so i will just tell him to give me his prescription and i will get it for him and send to his home address by courier. If he says it is for the hospital, i will tell him to make his brother call me and tell me it is for the hospital personally. Even if he does this, i will not be handing the money to my father, i will give it to his brother because he's the one handling all finances related to his treatment. If he doesn't accept this either and try to find excuses, i will tell him that i'm not stupid and i know he's been drinking and i'm not giving him anymore money. I will also tell him to stop showing up at my work without calling first. I will try to be as nice as possible but this has to be done. If my uncle (from my mom's side) wants to give him money for alcohol, he should do it himself. I don't want to be a part of this anymore.
 
You are correct! It is for the best but so hard to do. I think especially when even as adults we feel we have dissapointed our parents it's hard to deal with.

Hang in there! I really feel for you and I will be praying for your strength. Please keep us updated! We do care!
 
Hello Olin

I am so sorry for the loss you are feeling. Da is at peace now from his demons. Time for you to be at peace also, Sweetheart. No regrets, Olin. You acted as responsibly as possible in an impossible situation. It was right and proper not to give him money for alcohol.... somewhere the roles switched and you became parent and Dad became child. It is right and good that the parent does not encourage the child to do harm to himself.

Grieve the loss of Dad, grieve the loss of the relationship, but do not grieve your actions. They were the actions of a good and caring daughter.

I wish you peace as you come to terms with all of this. Sharing your story here may just be the impetus for some other addicted Dad to turn his life around.

Gentle hugs
reach
 
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