My boyfriend wants to have sex with me and I told him before our relationship...

  • Thread starter Thread starter brittt
  • Start date Start date
B

brittt

Guest
...even started that i was waiting? til marriage.. he said that is ok but now hes giving me crap saying "why do you give to me emotionally, but not physically" "its what we do when two people love each other"
then i said that he can't change my mind and that i'm not going to do it

he says he respects my decision...
but i almost do not want to pursue the relationship much anymore even tho i do like him , a lot, but if he just wants sex then we are going to have a lot of problems. do you think i should stay with him.. or what. i just dont know why he was fine with it but now hes arguing with me about it. though maybe i shoudl stick around and see if he truly respects my decision. what do you think.
 
Well he didn't respect your first decision. But I think a slip is ok one time and you should give him another chance. Maybe go to a church pastor or counselor and work on your differences if the relationship means that much to both of you. Having sex is a big step. I think its great that your not interested in building a relationship through sex first. Its much harder to get to know each other on a emotional basis.He should look at it like, Hey this person is considering me marriage material and what a Honor that is. I'm assuming your not teasing him and giving mixed messages.
 
if you stand by your decision to wait until marriage then you need to talk to him and tell him you are serious about waiting and if he wants to continue a relationship with you he needs to respect that and stop bringing it up. if he can't agree to that then i would break it off.

you also have to understand that hardly anyone waits until their married now a days. so i can understand why he would want to. it's only natural. but if you don't want to then you need to look for someone who would also like to wait.
 
it might be better off to stop the relationship now. He might get so desperate that he strays (has sex w/ another woman). If he really really loves you he will understand and show this w/ his actions and words.
 
He's a boy, we all want sex! If he can not wait then maybe he is not the one for you. If he respects you then he will wait.
 
he loved, and still loves you

he accepted it, because he thought that he wants you and thats the main thing..

he is arguing now, because he is trying to get something that he might be able to get..
you know, hes sexual desire is growing more!
so, sure, he, a day after a day, more wants to do it with you..

so you should tell him that you appreciate it...
that he still can stand not doing it with you, and that you know its hard for him, specially as the time goes more..

but you also should tell him that you have to not do it, and that anyway he accepted it before..
tell him that u don`t intend to use the fact that he accepted it at first, but its just that you really have to use it..
 
you said he respects your decision already.
isnt that the end of convo.
if you want to break it up with him, go ahead.
but i doubt that there's many guys that dont think about sex when in a relationship.
 
Continue to stick to your decision!

Since you were upfront with him, he doesn't have a legitimate argument. My guess is that he either thought he could wait or thought you would change your mind.

Should you stay with him? Only YOU can decide that. It sounds like his "emotional blackmail" is putting a strain on your relationship. Let him know that he needs to knock it off or you are going to call it off.
 
From my perspective, I think he is using you for sex which is a huge issue in today's society especially when it comes to relationships. Finding a right person who is mature and respect your decision are very rare to find one.
 
Well it seems to me that he does not respect your decision. If he did he wouldn't pressure you. I once had a boyfriend tell me 'its what people do when there in love' put when people are in love they also respect each other. You love each other, your not saying you won't have sex, you just won't have it until marriage. Your not saying no , your just saying not now. Whether you should stay with him, i dont know thats something you have to decide for yourself, I would say mention some things to him on the subject.

'if all you want out of the relationship is me physically and not me apart from that , then i am not sure how this relationship stand up. ' and see where it goes.

hope everything works out
 
stick around for a bit and ponder the situation. what does he mean emotionally and not physically? tell him that he's making you feel bad but that's not going to change your mind. give him the ultimatum...if that's all he wants he can get to steppin' because you aint hoppin' in to bed until theres a ring on your finger. tell him you like him but you don't need him espeically if all he wants is the dirty dirty. i applaud you on your morales...keep it up...don't back down!
 
I've been there too sweetie. First of all, respect yourself and keep your values/morals set. Don't give into him and his manipulative motive to try and get you to do something that you don't want to! If you feel uncomfortable, I would seriously think about breaking up with him. One time you give into to his control, he will only get worse...this is really how a lot of abusive relationships occur. Stay strong and firm on your decision to wait until marriage! God bless you and take care.
 
well u said he respects ur decision, so i would give it a couple days just to see if thats really true and if its nt true then dump him and find a better guy who will respect ur decision and wont give u crap about having sex.
 
I'm sorry but he sounds like a dog. Waiting to have sex until you're married is a personal commitment. No guy should put you in a position to compromise something like that. Not to mention, if you two stay together, the likelihood of him cheating is pretty high. You need someone who really cares about you and what you want. Not just what they want.
 
Forget him, he does not understand crap!

He obviously does not respect your decision, yes maybe two people do end up doing that when they love each other but also when they are both ready!
 
girl dont be in a situation where you dont feel comfortable with the person if your sometimes afraid to hang with him knowing that he will bring that sub. bak up then its best you leave.
Its never going to change. trust me been there done that.
besides theres alot more guys that will truly stick to their word and wait.
i promise
 
Back
Top