My boyfriend wants to "explore his sexuality" What should I do?

L

Lulio

New member
He believes he's bisexual, but has never had the opportunity to sleep with another man. He knows I'm open-minded to gay/bisexuality in general, and asked me if it would be okay for him to "explore" that side of him. And I don't have a problem with him being bi, not at all. But I feel uncomfortable with the idea of him sleeping with someone else, be it a man or another woman...
How can I explain this to him without him feeling that I'm closed-minded or just don't understand?
Or am I wrong for feeling this way? Is there a way for me to feel more comfortable about this? I want him to be able to explore this part of himself, and I want to support him, but I don't think I can share him in that way with someone else...
 
I think that you are a pretty awesome girlfriend. You seem fairly collected about the whole situation and for that I commend you. If your boyfriend wants to explore his sexuality, and he's confronted you about the situation, I think the worst thing that you can do is deny his curiosity. I'm not saying let him go out and have sex with the next man he sees, but the most important thing when someone is 'exploring their sexuality' is that they have the freedom to do so. Let him know how much you love him and let him know that you feel uncomfortable 'sharing' him with someone else but encourage him that you will do your best to help him discover who he is. If he hasn't already, I'd advise him to watch homosexual or bisexual pornography, but suggest that you watch it together. Who knows. You might even find it a turn-on. If he continues to push for sex with a man, ask if you two can both contribute to picking out a man whom you can both have sex with. A threesome may seem awkward for a relationship but if both of you take part in choosing the third party, perhaps you may find something you enjoy as well. If the threesome doesn't take well and if you feel comfortable doing so, see if he'd be keen to letting you pick out the man and allow them to have some fun. (Best to find someone else who is also exploring their sexuality.) You may have to let him explore on his own if all else fails. Be aware that at this time, he is probably rather vulnerable. I hope you two can come to an agreement.

In addition: If you can't come to an agreement, or if you feel he may no longer be true to you, then you may have to pull the cord on the relationship.
 
Take a break then. Let him give me a call :P J/k

Edit: Sheesh, I was joking about the last part. Anyhow, just tell him you're afraid of how your relationship will go if he does explore. Let him know you're uncomfortable and ask if he's really sure he wants to do that. The way you said "has never had the opportunity to sleep with another man" just sounds a bit selfish on his part IMO. If he's happy with you, then he should just stay with you and not ask any "what if..." questions about sleeping with men.
 
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