My boyfriend of a 1 1/2 years asked me to marry him in June. Since then we've done

M

ms.

New member
nothing but argue!? First, when my boyfriend asked me to marry him ( the ring is beautiful by the way) I was really excited and nervous all at the same time. A few days afterwards I went to the library and started looking at wedding books. A few days later, on the advice a friends, I even visited a few reception venues so that I could book early. This was June and we were planning a wedding in May. This is when we started to fight and argue because his mom wanted to be VERY involved. She kept calling almost every day after the engagement to ask what I was doing and to tell me to wait until we could go over the plans together. I wanted her to be involved with some things, but I was excited about planning my own wedding and my boyfriend was not very supportive. Everytime I would bring up something about the wedding he would get mad and ask me why I was planning at all because it was so far away and that he just wanted to chill out and be engaged for a few months before he did anything. I felt that most weddings take at least 9 months to 1 year to plan and that I wasn't doing anything wrong. I signed us up for couples counseling through my insurance and he was pissed about that and only went to one class. He said that he wanted to go to counseling through church and when I suggested we do both he refused. We have been arguing for so long now that I am to the point that I am questioning whether this marriage is a good idea. The bad part is I am living with him now. We don't have sex anymore. He hates my cat and wants me to give her away and I feel he is so inflexible and stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something or if it doesn't go his way or if its not what he is used to then he probably isn't going to do it. What should I do? I can't just up and leave because I need to save money and living with a friend isn't an option because I moved to a city where I don't know anyone. Advice?
 
He sounds like an uptight jerk. Get out of the relationship immediately. He is showing his true colors and you don't want to say, " I do" and be miserable.
 
He may not be ready for something even more commited than living together, he needs to see that not everything revolves around him. Alot of people may get stressed or nervous when getting married, that's natural, so maybe you've had a short circuit and just yelled at him without that much arguing before-hand and he's annoyed at you for doing that and it's a big circle. that may not be the case but if it is then just relax a bit and try and show him that it's not all about him. try to argue less and less and just talk it out and remind him, that if he's the one that proposed to you, he should've been ready to commit and if he didn't think it through then that's his fault.

As I said, try and maybe postpone the wedding and see how things go through, maybe he's not ready and he doesn't know how to tell you.

If that soft-gentle stuff fails, then somehow show him how selfish he is, and how he should be more flexible.
 
Back
Top