my boyfriend had sex with a prostitute.?

[sahara8062]

My boyfriend of over 1 year, (who i am also several months pregnant by) confessed to me last night that he had sex with a prostitute for $50 while he was in thailand in the army. yes, it was before we were together, but i'm devastated. not only because the man who i had thought so highly of paid a whore to have sex with him, but also because he lied to me. I had asked him when we first got together if he had ever had sex with a prostitute and he said no. I don't know what to do. I feel so confused. I love him so much, but i can't get this image out of my mind. and the fact that he had lied to me makes everything worse. I had no idea that he was the kind of guy who would pay for sex. it really disgusts me. i've tried to talk to him about how it makes me feel and he just keeps saying, "whatever, it's in the past, i'm not proud of it." but that doesn't make me feel any better! i'm knocked up and stuck! what should i do?

 

[*P*!*N*K*]

You shouldn't let it bother you that much because it is in the past and there's nothing you 2 can do about it. I understand that you are very upset because he lied to you about it, that's messed up on his part. Don't let it affect your relationship with him, just tell him that you are hurt because you trusted him and he lied. I would be very upset too. I think he should at least apologize for doing that and not just tell you whatever like he doesn't care. He needs to stop lying. You have to focus on your baby now, leave the past in the past and think about your future with your baby and him. I am sure that he didn't want to lose you or hurt you by telling you something like that, just forget about it and tell him to never hide anything from you again. There's no need for you to feel confused, he didn't do it while he was with you he did that in the past, before you, now if he ever cheats leave him! But relax and forget about it. Congrats for the baby =) take care.

 

[Victoria]

I think you are just overreacting because its the past.I would understand if he did if you two were together but it was before he met you.

Its normal to be disgusted or to feel jealous but don't let it come between your relationship.Put it behind you and focus on your future with him

Good luck

 

[SimmyUKgirl]

Don't mean to worry u but i would be asking myself if he's able to do that again! but being pregnant with his baby i think u should let it go, at least he didn't cheat on u, but do tell him that u won't trust him as u did, and how disappointed u are with him!!!

 

[Andy]

He hasn't cheated, and past is past.
Get over it.
Has he raped anyone? Has he beaten his ex girlfriends?
He had a meaningless one night stand. Most people have.

As long as he hasn't caught and passed anything on to you, it's none of your business.

 

[Robert G]

That is extremely personal information. Don't think of it as a lie. Technically it was an untrue statement, but it is a very personal and likely sensitive subject. It is also something that I myself have a VERY difficult time imagining someone sharing with someone they don't plan on spending the rest of their life with.

Similarly to how a person may not be willing to share a story about being raped or about having an abortion or some other deeply personal and potentially damaging information with just anyone, I can Imagine this being kept secret.

Honestly, he had nothing compelling him to tell you. He wanted to be honest, and I think this shows a tremendous amount of trust, of faith in your relationship AND a strong desire to have a completely clean slate. He seems like a good guy in that he values honesty.

Also, it is so hard to imagine what life in the service may be like. It also may be difficult to understand what was going on in his life at the time. It may also have been a peer pressure thing that many were doing or it could be a chance to cross off a crazy experience from the list of things to do before one dies.

Do you have a right to be angry? Yes, I think you certainly do. You are perfectly reasonable to be upset. Even to feel a little bit lied to. But understand what I just said. He came clean for honesty's sake and not because he was cornered. And he likely is planning to be with you forever.

People do dumb things. All the time. He did something he wasn't proud of and didn't tell you at the beginning of your relationship. But he DID tell you of his own free will. I suggest you consider all this, understand that he is a fallible person, and accept him for who he is and forgive him.