My boyfriend argues with me when i ask him to help me with our newborn baby.?

A

Ann

New member
He is a surgeon and i know he is busy, at work and at home. But sometimes i do wish he would help out at home more often.(esp with the baby). He says that the baby keeps crying when he holds her, so there is no point in him taking care of her. We argue and then i end up shutting up and doing everything myself. Is this common among doctors' families?
 
It is common among most men I hate to say. It's not that they don't want to help it is just that they don't know how. Your boyfriend might be afraid of dropping the baby etc. He feels tense when he holds him so the baby picks up on his tension and starts to scream. Give your boyfriend time he will learn to know what to do by watching you. In the meantime you need to allow you mom, or someone you trust to watch your little one so that you can have your "me" time.
take care
 
My son is not a surgeon but he runs his own business and works very very hard physically all day long....he has 5 month old twins but when he comes home in the evenings he takes over and does his share of the work with the babies. He had to learn what worked for each baby/ change nappies/feed/ dress/ put to sleep / rock when crying/ play with them. These twins are his children and he wants to be involved with them , he also wants to help his partner because she is dealing with the twin all day long and she also needs a break. You need to tell your husband ..to cut the nonsense out and remember this baby is his also...teach him how to do things and don't take over when he says he can't. He is a grown man not a little child and this is 2009 not 1949. This has nothing to do with him being a doctor...is all to do with......he does it because he can , you allow it , so now you need to stop and teach him how to do things...if you are not willing to do this ..then you must learn to live with it.
 
it common in my family and my husband doesn't even work and i am on extended sickleave from work and i do absolutely everything and get the same stupid responses.
so i know how it feels and i sympathies with you.
hope everything gets better for you soon
 
guys are just like that. he needs to step up and take responsibility. try showing him how to hold baby and what to do. tell him its his child too and he will never learn inless he tries
 
He helped to produce the baby.....he should help care for her.

having said that, he's a professional man and works long and hard, earning a good wage Id imagine. You dont really expect him to come home and start hoovering or washing, ironing, cooking do you, Its not like he's on the dole and out of work is it?

Do as much as you can but you really should encourage him to bond with her. Its what being a parent is all about . I wouldnt expect him to clean the house tho..
 
It is not common at all. I have a husband who works night shifts at a factory which is way more difficult than surgical work. He does this every single day doing a back breaking job covered in sweat and dirt. He still manages to come home, eat, work out, and help me out with some of the chores and the baby. You both need to sit down and talk to each other. Conversate and explain to him that you need help because taking care of a baby by yourself can get pretty tough. Take care!
 
My mum had my baby brother three months ago. There is a very big age gap between us - 16 years. My mum's partner is a landscape gardener and owns his own company gardening for very rich people which i know is not the same as being a doctor, but he's very busy and gets home late all the same. However he always tries to spend as much time playing and looking after his baby.

I think your boyfriend is probably tired after work but he should want to spend as much time as possible with his baby. He needs to bond with his baby and learn to look after him or her. Usually mothers are better at looking after babies and knowing what they need but with practise your boyfriend can learn to stop the baby crying too - he just needs to make the effort. I know this may be hard for him after a long day of work but it will absolutely be worth it.

Let him know what he's missing out on as in the blink of an eye your baby won't be a baby anymore, and he will have missed out on the best thing that ever happened to him. You need support and you and the baby are more important than his work. Try talking to him about it when you have a spare moment.

Good luck and congratulations on your new baby x




Someone pretty please answer mine?

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Av6Y4tSXB7_JBU1bWjG1.HQgBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20090902010725AAYxe7o
 
OMG - so surgeons are human too - I thought they were naturals and experts at everything and with everyone. LOL. Sorry......couldn't help myself: If he is too tired or too busy or too lazy or to inexperienced or to selfish or to ignorant of your needs or to impatient.....then gather your family and friends around you to give you a break. YOU sound like you need it. Also do you go to a mothers group/club, they can be helpful and rewarding and you get to meet mums experiencing what you are and you may meet some new friends. Hang in there - I'm sure you are doing a fantastic job and keep a nice homely home. Cheers
 
He sounds like he is treating his family as work or even less because i bet he could try abit more work.
Explain to him the necessity of him bonding with his child and he should stop being a TEEN!! for crying out loud even they know that babies cry most times he just has to learn and tricks to not make the baby cry...not rocket science. He needs to bond with the baby properly and very important.
Plus it doesn't matter how tired or hard working he says he is it is his family he has to do and extra bit even though he is providing for you, who will he provide for if you decided to leave??? that job wont be that important and demanding after all.
 
sorry to hear that .. babies will cry with everybody at some point, he needs to build up a bond with his child then the child will learn to feel comfortable and safe with him. explain to him that its really important to build a bond with his baby now else he will regret it .. but try not to let it effect your relationship. :D
 
It's not a doctor thing. It's a personal problem with your boyfriend, common to many men. Did he want the baby? Sounds like he's not really into her. However, I know my dad loves me very much, but when I was a baby, my mum did everything. When I was older and could communicate more with him through talking, etc. he spent heaps of time teaching me things.
 
just let him know that he needs to spend time with your daughter. babies cry. it's just a fact. it's not that it's him holding her. he needs to realize he can't just put the responsibility on you. i do respect the fact that he's a surgeon and that is hard work, must have been through a lot of schooling, etc... really educated. good luck. :)
 
just let him know that he needs to spend time with your daughter. babies cry. it's just a fact. it's not that it's him holding her. he needs to realize he can't just put the responsibility on you. i do respect the fact that he's a surgeon and that is hard work, must have been through a lot of schooling, etc... really educated. good luck. :)
 
just let him know that he needs to spend time with your daughter. babies cry. it's just a fact. it's not that it's him holding her. he needs to realize he can't just put the responsibility on you. i do respect the fact that he's a surgeon and that is hard work, must have been through a lot of schooling, etc... really educated. good luck. :)
 
just let him know that he needs to spend time with your daughter. babies cry. it's just a fact. it's not that it's him holding her. he needs to realize he can't just put the responsibility on you. i do respect the fact that he's a surgeon and that is hard work, must have been through a lot of schooling, etc... really educated. good luck. :)
 
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